QiQi's blog

2009-07-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

SH returned to Singapore.hehe..
Both of us went to Marina Barrage..
because of the rain..we cant walk around outside.. =(
never mind..law upcoming birthday..me and sh plan to hold his birthday at marina barrage..hahas..guessed ed and gm will be fine with it..hahahas..dont care.. =P cannot also must say can..lala.. =P

2009-07-07T22:45:00.001-07:00

2009-07-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday was my de shu su shi da hui~
yh,yj and me created our own madness world! =P
we loved taking photos! hahas..
and SH is back from wuhan! after staying there for 5 months! whee~~~~~~~~~~~
anyway,me and yh would like to go topone again~~hehe
life as usual..light up the dark..let the sun shines and hang in there no matter what~ Jiayou! =))
busy or free..must smile. =))
Oya,sunday night..went for dinner with Ft clique..2 clique combined to one..so theres about 8 people?hahas.took 2 group photos at the restaurant..waiting for yh to send then will upload to blog~hehe..

2009-07-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

2009-07-01T23:08:00.001-07:00

Went Topone to sing with another FT clique~ =))
Yinghui,Me,Jason,Reagan and Guo Ming.Edmund not feeling well so he couldnt join us..
We picked alot of songs to sing and everyone had an enjoyable time singing and singing from 11am to 6pm.hahas.
Each of us paid $16..and we have free flow of drinks! Its very worth it right! =P
Hmm..yinghui not able to send the videos..so I can only upload the photos..
Didnt know Jason has another side..crazy side..hahahas..never judge a book by its cover.. =X
and theres one photo I need to clarify..theres no middle finger..its my second finger!hahas.see properly hor..you all look at all the photos..will see one photo..(me acting cute) =X then you all will get what I meant..hahas..
Went Sentosa with my little cousins and aunt all.heard theres new attractions there..and we tried out extreme log ride..pretty fun..but too expensive..$18 for just a little while.. =(
my aunt spent alot treating all of us..and its the first time i went sentosa with my relatives and my little cousins..playing luge and sitting skyride with them is indeed very different from the past times i am with my friends.hahahas..
anyway,i want to thank my aunt all for inviting me to join them.. ;)
met up with yiyi.. =)) laughed like mad regarding the xi yang cai story.. =X =P but now got new style already! hahas..
little rachael going to be one month old soon..whee whee..
and whenever theres free time=more time for my little jadon nephew! hehe..
sorry dearie chewheng..cant be there to lend you a listening ear when you are down..but at least I know whats going on now..thanks for sharing..sorry my memory getting a little bad =X if not wont forget to return your calls. =(( sorry..
meet up soon..next weekday! =)) no matter how tough your work going to be,hang in there ah! =))
think of your bubbly best friend me then you will SMILE! =))
met up with meilin cousin whenever free..we will explore singapore..hahas..find things that are worth price=andgood quality! especially clothings..blah blah.. =)) can ask me for more details..hehe..
got free movie tickets..because meilin went to Fox to get a pair of very expensive jeans..and they are giving out free things..so besides free movie tickets..we got beach bag..vouchers..and etc.I cant rememeber..hahas..
watching tansformer! =)
hmm lately have been working on some research work too.. =))
wont elaborate much for now.. =))
and yeaps..thanks alot edmund.. =)) for your help..and must be happy okay..I wont say much already.. =)
a particular person confessed his love for me..I am sorry..you will find your happiness one.. =)

I still missed him.7 months already.
will he forget me..forget my existence..
I wish he can ask me to wait for him..
can I wait..?
In life,its not easy to meet someone we love..
but if we get to meet him or her..
its even not easy to get togather..
it takes two hands to clap..
I want to give him my hand..
will he give me his hand too.. .. ..
I am awaiting for that day..if you remember you told me you wont leave me unless I chose to leave you..
am I not worthy of you..

2009-07-01T23:08:00.000-07:00

2009-06-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

Many a times,this thought have been running through my mind.
I always look forward..to my future..my goals in life..and etc etc..to dream.to wish.to hope.
but..reality is still reality..
to be optimistic and confident is good.
but I have the other side.the weaker side.no matter how beautiful life is,not everyday will be a sunshine day.. =)
Life is too unpredictable.
every second.every minute.every moment.very important.
no one knows what tomorrow will brings.
I may be enjoying my favourite music..playing my favourite games..doing my favourite diy things..but who knows..all these may be gone tomorrow..
LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.
I have learn to realised that.
not easy at all.but reality.force people to learn.is harsh and cruel.

I have been missing a person for half a year already..
He have been very busy all these time..
I fear..
fear that my existence will be gone in his world..
this thought have been running in my mind and heart all along..
I regretted..
for not being able to hold him..'dont know' as an answer given to him..and I have been thinking now and then..why am I so frail that time..how can everything just let it go pass like that..
things may have change for the better and everything may have last..
guess theres a need to take a break that time..situation too tense..
I always asked myself..we can make it a lasting one..isnt it..why will things turn out that way..
If i am not weak that time..
If time could stop at that very moment..I dont want let go.never will I.
I missed him so much so much.
If hes free.I wish he can ask me out for lunch.if he doesnt want to see me..i hope he have enough rest..
If hes busy..I hope he take good care of himself..dont tire himself out..and hopefully..still remember me..but i dare not harbour hopes he will miss me.. .. ..
I hope i am worthy of him..
no matter what..no matter where he is..no matter what hes doing..I want him happy and well.
hoping he will contact me when hes free..hoping he will talk to me..hoping he will want see me..
but I hide these feelings of mine and kept this heart.I want to tell him.. .. ..
my world always have your existence..
It doesnt matter if you are very busy..I will meet you in my heart..
and..
I treasure you.so much.
so much.
will he know my feelings for him..all these time..

2009-06-17T23:01:00.001-07:00

Camwhoring with meilin cousin and Ted(the big bear).hahas.
Missed ted! big bear.heavier than me.fatter than me.I need more energy in order to throw him around.hahas. =XX
Look at my jadon boy! little nephew growing up day by day! more handsome.cuter too! hehe..know how to bully me already. =( but dotes on me alot too.sweet little boy! hahas.loves.loves.
and yea.If you all find the baby very cute..yes.shes my little niece! hahas.baby rachael! my tangjie just gave birth last friday~~ =))
My uncle family is getting bigger..hehe..loved this uncle family..grew up under their love care and concern..feel really heartworming..my second family~ =))

2009-06-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

2009-06-17T22:56:00.000-07:00

I missed Taiwan Days..

2009-06-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

2009-06-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

Everyone wished they had the answers to everything..
But life wont always go the way we want.. =)
Important thing is to have faith and tell ourselves we can find a way out..we definitely can. As long as we are willing to take a step forward..we can light up all kind of darkness and let the SUN shines. =))
WHEN THERES A WILL, THERES A WAY. =))

2009-06-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

Life is so unpredictable..mine is like a roller coaster..full of ups and downs..I wish to control the speed..but its beyond my control.. =)Treasure every second,minute and moment..by smiling..spreading joys around.. =)Reach out for the goals in life and move forward~no matter how its going to be.. =)I have goals in all different aspect..but how am I going to turn the dream into reality..I want to continue to keep the music in my life going on..I will hang in,persevere..determined to add oil..and not give up =)But..my life seems to have lost a puzzle for half a year..so it doesnt seem to be complete..I have been awaiting for the puzzle to be place back to where it should be.or will the puzzle be gone forever?I dont know..I fear..Time wont stop.It will just keep on ticking.I must continue to move on! =)) let everyday be a sunshine day! =)) Every tomorrow will be a brand new day! =)

2009-06-07T23:50:00.001-07:00

Happy 21st Birthday Chuan and Gab! =)
Hope you both have had an enjoyable chalet at downtown east Coasta Sands. =)
Chuan brought his nitendo wii there.and the games were fun.hahas.
Both of them came up with a theme Jap for their birthday.. ;)
hmm..I wore something like a beach dress on that day..some say it was nice..but some say it looks like pyjamas! =( and some say like pregnant dress. >.< ( where got.zz.the wind blew..so the dress looked bigger ma..hahas..)
anyway,thanks so much for inviting me to the chalet! =)

2009-06-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

2009-05-26T23:39:00.003-07:00

Photos uploaded! =)

2009-05-26T23:38:00.000-07:00

2009-05-26T23:36:00.002-07:00

2009-05-26T23:24:00.001-07:00

2009-05-21T01:10:00.000-07:00

Tick Tock.12am is here.the long awaiting key to freedom unlocked.
21st of May.I am officially 21.
saddest thing is I dont feel any excitment in me at all.I cant believed i have actually live through 20 years.time passes too fast.way too fast.
Its like you turned around and realised aha! Its another brand new year,new day.
I need to strengthen my endurance level in all matters.I need to become alot more stronger than before.I need to hold back my tears.
how am I supposed to achieve such thoughts.
I can still see some childishness in me.too matured isnt very good i feel.life still need joys and love around.and that will make the world a better one.
emotions stirred up once again.eeks.i just feel uncomfortable.but emoing cant leave my life.in fact,I am living under the control of my own emotions.why is that so.that is bad.i need some reflections.
some happy updates.
I hold my advanced 21st birthday party at Nuovo Condo on 17th of May Sunday.I am unable to attend to everyone needs and feelings because there is quite some people.i am sorry if the party have bore you all somehow or somewhat.
I do hope you all have enjoyed overall. =))
the party started at 10am and ends around 7.but we have to start packing up around 3 plus.as in leaving the function room for others to come in.so in the end,left with the ktv rooms and the games room to hang around.
I would like to thank my cousin meilin and my friends edmund,guo ming and lawrence for waking up so early helping me with the preparations and etc.It must have been really very tiring for you all.I am really grateful for everything.I am sure you all have enjoyed yourselves. =)
I want to thank my da jiu too.thanks for helping me with the booking and etc.he have been helping me in and out on that day.and sorry all.i know the music that day very loud.hahas.
Thanks alot alot to all my friends,cousins and relatives who have attended the party.. =))
I really loved all the prezies.you all must have spent alot on the prezies. =(
for those who cant attend,its alright.i understand. =)) thanks to you all for all the wishes and everything! =))
Thanks to all friends who wish me on facebook,friendster,blog and handphone.hahas.really thank you!! =))
17th May till 21st way.i have been busy with outings and celebrations.hahas.really enjoyed.thanks! =))
and my jadon nephew sang me birthday song! hahas.so sweet of him~
21st May i had a simple and nice outing with one of my friend.thanks for making me laughed all day long.really happy.hope you enjoyed too. =)
and thanks cousin for another prezie on 21st May! ahahs.really shocked me.with the handmade card and the pigs! =P circuit road food.the best.hahas.
I hope you liked the gift I have got for you! =)
my favourite perlini got 70% on selected items now.whee.whee.must go buy! Its definitely worth it! =P
gotta buy birthday prezies now for my few friends upcoming 21st party.hahas.I am being invited!! so excited.hahas.
economy real bad now.I cant find the job I really wanted.have been calling up companies and etc.and I refused to go back to my previous jobs.shall see how.hai~

I have uploaded the party photos to facebook and friendster.so all,please check it out there alright.I am currently lazy to upload to blog.so have to wait. =X

shihui have been making me more and more curious.I am referring to the parcel.hahas.

be happy and fly up high.
easier said than done.

2009-05-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

I cant believe.SOON.I will be 21.I am a lady! young lady! =P
*friends will start shaking hands with me* saying 'Congrats Maybelyn Tan Si Qi'!
'Thank you'. 'Thank you'. hahas.
what crap.well,never mind.hahas.Know me for the first time?No.so yea.used to it can already.muahahas.
emotions always got so mixed.past.present and future.I need to become stronger and stonger.HAI.
*momopiggie never say die attitude!* *blow whistles* x 2. =P
my key to freedom..i cant wait..seriously..i may regret when i got the "invisible key" hahas.
missing the good old times.20 years.so many ups and downs.more ahead i am sure.I am an optimistic girl.oops.lady i meant.hehe.i shant reveal my weak side too often.but this is going to be a real tough one to really say it and put into action.aww.how sad. =((
It is alright. =))
hey all,dont forget to wish me!! hahas! i know i am thick skinned.but i still must say remmeber ah! hehehe. =P

The word.'Realize' tells alot about life.hmm.Its more than just a word.thats how i feel.hmm.

2009-05-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

The scary and weird place I mentioned at dont know which picture. =X I took some scenery..looks nice huh.but very pian pi there.eeks.neevr go there alone. =( or dont leave there alone. =(Another random one.hehe.mixture of photos. =)Random. =P but they are my good friends.. =))They are all my nice seniors.hoho. =P thanks for all the guidance! I missed you alot carol! =XLove them! nice friends to work with! =)Ft clique~~want to know who? notice repeated faces~~ =XThey are friends who are always in and out of my life1 but always hanging around when I needed their help or their ear to be a good listener! hahas..feel free to throw any whinings back to me too! hahas..I am just 8 numbers away~ =))Collage-me,chuan,gabriel,shuyi! funny friends always make me laugh.hahas~they are happy people..so it is really great to hang out with them~~ =))shuyi..be back to your happy self! you can do it! =))Another collage with abby! she is the one who also went through all tough and good times with me! but she neevr fails to lecture me when I made mistakes..hahas..shes born a leader and she is really capable! she is MISS BUSY. =XCollage-me and abby! hehe..Collage- me and meilin cousin! she is the best cousin besides bjorn! hahas..she is always here for me when I needed help! she gone through all difficult times with me! she never fail to say NO.I am busy. hehe.she is MISS NICE! loves! =))Another collage with her! hehe.we have gone through 8 tough years.Thanks for sharing all my joys and sorrows! more tough years ahead! my best friend! you rock! ;) hehehe..Collage- dearie girl chewheng! =))Uncle James and family! I loved them! =))Oh my god.promise me not to laugh at this picture. =( my cousin took this picture for me years ago.hahas.look funny i know.but control your laughter! =XSecondary times~with chuan and gabriel! they looked so young in the past! hahas. now more man. =XCollage with shihui,edmund,lawrence,guoming! Thanks for everything! =)) more outings when shihui is back! =P

A new guardian angel pig! hahas.I went to buy it..nice right! 5 bucks. =((Jadon and me! cute boy boy! hehe..loves my little nephew! Baobei! =XWaiting for chewheng to end her job interview at some weird place~ =X and I ended up rushing out to bustop..that place is so scary and quiet i ran all my way out..it was really far.. =(Look at him! =PBoy boy playing with me..lol..he is enjoying myself torturing me. =XXMy tangjie Ee Ee and her son (my little nephew) JADON KWOK! hehe..very sweet hor~ =))

Dish washing at TH..It was 10 plus at night and yes.mr edmund pang is enjoying the leftover food after the mother's day celebration..guoming tried to take some food but mission failed. =P

Group project submission day! our oneunity! =)) rushing and touching up in the library! using laptop to camwhore! =X A wonderful day with dearie girl (chewheng)! we got a similar chain and similar pendant with own names engraved on the each of the pendant1 our first similar item for 8 years of friendship! hehe..whee!

2009-04-23T23:04:00.000-07:00

Life is like a run.
everyday.everyone is running away from something.running for time.24hours is insufficient.running to the destination they have been wanting to reach.we as humans just keep on running every second,minute and moment..but in the end..people asked themeselves why are they running..all these years..for the people around us who loved and care for us..or it is just for ourselves..or..? for survival?
everybody have different answers I am sure.

for me.I have had a really really very tough time running..all these years..
my appearance may seems very happy..very carefree..
but I have been hanging in there..real tough..
alot alot of matters..
I guessed everyone have their own problems faced.
in friendship,I am really very grateful to god..for giving me few wonderful friends..who never fail to stay with me at anytime,any moment.to keep me going on during tough times.to share my joys at any moment.
in family..I am so glad to have found myself few wonderful cousins.who have been with me for years.and very thankful to have found my uncle family.who have been with me for 6 years.all the way till I am in primary 1.I went back home.they accompany me through my growing up days..who always give me or get me anything that i was hoping to get..but that is not the main point.It is the love they have showered me with that always make me feel very heartwarming.knowing that they have always treat me as part of them makes me very touched.
I always have a deeper bonding with them.. =))
in rela..I have been waiting for a person for months(ever since the ending during last year dec)..i will continue to wait..everyday..national service is so tiring and tough..so I should be really understanding.. =)

I hope all these years..I have been a great friend to everyone.. =)
If not..do tell me how I should improve alright.. =)
I must be stronger..
there is a saying..a champion is not one who never fails..a champion is one who never gives up~

but I do have my weak times..sigh.. =((

2009-04-13T23:04:00.000-07:00

Tampines 1 with Serena~ =))
Thnaks for the great day..It was really enjoyable..especially the stimulator at arcade..the theme mode tinky and the try on guitar hero.hmm.come to think of it.kinda missed my games consoles.especially nitendo wii. =(
missed my besties.hmm.Time is never enough.
projects and etc.articulate my passion for projects?hmm.think twice.hahas.

to someone..PLEASE.what should I do to make you let me off.
I have already had enough.I told you to treasure what you have now.and I am serious.
Dont ever let her down.are you going to wait till you lose her then have regrets.
why.why are you doing this to me.all these while,what do you want.are you going to haunt me for your entire life.
you made all your choices and decisions.you told me so firmly in fron of my face.remember all your actions and words?
you told me if I am not going to give chance,i will have regrets.
what are you trying to tell me?
no matter what.haunt all you want.I am very tired.I wont let your words or actions bring me down easily anyway.

I still missed him everyday..
and hes always on my mind..
but I know hes busy..
hope hes well and fine..

2009-04-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

2009-04-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

Hello all..I think theres some little problems with my handphone~
there are times when I reply messages and a few didnt receive.
I am very sorry about it.
If any of you waited my reply for very long..but still no replies from me..sent me back a message.to check with me see if I did receive your message..
hehe..so sorry..

2009-04-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

a short post before I turned in~hehe..
presented very first horror short film with elective groupmates..no negative comments..lecturer said it was a good job and we have put what we learnt into use.well done all.our hard work paid off.our main actor and the ghost really did very well..hahas..continue to add oil yea.. =))
hopefully the class of around 40 over people enjoyed our film~ =))
came back late today because of a certain someone.I am thankful for everything you have done.I have said it umpteem times.the scars you have left for me in the past is too too deep.let me keep the past good memories.please.dont haunt me anymore.I will break down..
I dont want to continue talking about it.and you have someone always there for you..please..cherish her..dont live in regrets..shes the one you should treasure..
hmm.just realised stores layout are super tough to draw.hahas.Its not my strength.but I will try hard. =)

life still moves on..

the misses are increasing..

2009-04-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

If I am playing games like playstation,xbox or whatsoever..I wish i can keep on levelling up..but.. thing is what shouldnt be levelling up just keep on climbing its way up to the top.. >.<
I am referring to projects.I loved them.the best motivation to keep me moving on and not fall.hahas.retarded isnt it. *nods*
I will never get into this line in the future..too stressful to take it as a career..Its my passion..so I will work on something related but hopefully i can get an office job but not sitting inside from 9 to 6 or later than that.I will call for 995.hahas.i need a job that allows me to work indoor and outdoor.and if I have my own family in the future,of course they will be my priority. =))
striking a balance isnt easy.but human state of mind.lots of psychoing job to be done.hahas.
life is not all about work.so lets talk about something else.hmm.
outings with my besties..have been good..hehe
few happenings lately to a few of my good friends..I know its very hard to go through tough times..but you all will definitely be able to handle it well one okay..hang in there~I am a phone call away..and thanks for the in depth sharings.thanks alot for trusting me. =)
Its april anyway~may 21st celebrating 21st~~wheee. *I am not hinting anything ah* =P I am just being excited..for fun..hahas..but defintiely not mad..hehe. maybe nothing will happen on that day.. =X I will just stay home to rot or go out shop,sing with my friends or?? hmm.dont know.ahhas.There may be a few advance celebrations.lala.I am not thick skinned.I am just saying 'may be'.hahas. =P
very long never watch movies already.. =( about four months? =(
now that i went to zoo with my 2 besties.i want go explore..other places.hahas.
there may be a studying trip to hong kong around..dont know.waiting for confirmation.
want go overseas! =( ='(
and i want do more voluntary work~~ =)
my ipod go crazy nowadays..so irritating..boo..
same goes for my handphone..i never even dropped my handphone..why so sot one.argh.i think too many photos and songs inside already. =X
but I must admit sony ericsson phone camera are good. =))

MOREeeeeeeeee updates..
i have some work to do..and then..i will drop dead..hahas.. * hug my pigggggs and everything on my bed* =))

I saw him on Saturday Night.
I said hello.I remained so calm.
but after which.I felt very sad.
I know my misses for him never lessened.and yes.
Its a fact I love him alot.

I can only keep my love for him deep inside my heart.
can I express out the feelings in me all these while? I really want to.

I wish I can walk to him.just a few steps nearer.to stand beside him.and care for him.
I dont have the rights already..isnt it?
I am only a friend to him now..am I right?
I am talking to myself on my blog and I know I wont get answers..or will I have the answers?

hes on my mind everyday..and I am missing him more and more as days passed~

2009-04-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

Some photos taken with mer and ch dearie~~ =))

2009-04-05T22:48:00.000-07:00

2009-03-31T22:30:00.000-07:00

Fashion Bazzar 2009 at my school..my campus..
It was a success..can view some photos taken..*scroll down please* =P
there were a total of nine groups anyway..but didnt managed to take photos with everyone..only people i am closer with..hehe..
1 of the project for a module..hmm..very busywith preparation,thought processing and etc before the bazzar..but now everything ended. =)) I am grateful..to my group members for this projects..though we may not be the best..but I am very sure we have all did our very best..and the response today is good isnt it? =)
hmm..in life..nothing is ending unless we no longer exist in the world..so add oil! *never say die attitude* =))

more updates..~dont swithc channel! stay faithful to my blog! =P

gardener missed the tree lots..months have passed..

2009-03-31T22:22:00.000-07:00

2009-03-24T23:56:00.001-07:00

Some photos taken with few electives friends when working on IM module.(proto-typing.)
cant wait for VP.filming horror show with another group of electives friends plus another group combined with us..
hmm and another elective on theatre..paper examination around may?hmm.
and the meet up with Kaixin. =))
own fashion modules.no brain to think.brain cells lost. =X hoho.

2009-03-24T23:56:00.000-07:00

2009-03-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

hello all.
life have been kinda unstable.hmm.felt happy whenever I submit projects.but more to go.forever endless.living in singapore.there is bound to be a certain level of stress we as human beings have to faced everyday.no matter what. ;) I always have that little phobia.whenever the work were returned back.imagine thoughts will start running wild.here comes the guessing games and competitions.It doesnt really matters alot to me.just do my part well.put in my best effort and yea.face the outcome.I shouldnt fear isnt it.but I am still a human afterall.cant help it.hahas.how ironic my thoughts can be huh.hahas.
my last outing was the zoo trip with my two besties~but not including abby..she is nowhere to be found. =X her commitments in church.projects.and etc.shes like super duper drained.poor woman~ =( its alright.we didnt lose contact and yea.MEET UP SOON LA.hahas.
Take Care~~~~~anything remember I am just a phone call away~ ;)
I know mer and chewheng missed me badly.hahas.can tell when they messaged me~hahas..I missed both of you too! =) meeting often should be getting tired hor? =P =X but why is it the more we meet..the heart grows fonder? =XXXXXXXXXX (sounds VERY wrong) =X HAHAS.
I am straight anyway la huh.hahas.hehe.hoho. =P
hmm.went to suntec it fair with mer.hmm.the crowd is very SCARY.and I managed to get myself sandisk thumbdrive 4GB at 14.50.not bad right??hehe.and I got a headphone too.for shihui sake. =X and still always say disappointed in me.lol.I shall send some foodies over to wuhan when I have the mood to send! hahas.
went to expo robinsons sale with lux.hmm.i feel prices actually going up.sad.recession now.should the prices go down.. =(
theres popular sale too.oh.popular sale was great.i spent 29.50 buying lots of things.for school use.own use.and I got a book on pilates.muahahs.find it interesting.lol.
oya.and the adidas sales.oh my.the crown is so crazy and insane.Initially,I thought theres really BIG sales going on.but felt really disappointed and cheated.hahas.nothing one.boo.more for guys ba.the discounts not really that great.lux was disappointed too.hahas.and I saw chuan and gab~hahas..its a small world..they were queueing for the adidias sales too..I think they are feeling the same too.disappointed? hahas.
sad thign is didnt have the time to travel down to suntec food fair to look for chewheng mum.hehe.she selling sugarcane drink.very nice.wanted to go down and support.but time doesnt allow me to do so.argh.okay la.i should just admit i am lazy and tired. =X
electives getting more fun.hmm.especially the final project for video production.got to do filming in shcool during lesson time.combined with another group to do the filming.hehe.we will be doing the horor film~hahas..will update everyone when the filming is done ;)
imagine sitting for examinations on SAS-theatre.hahas..the notes are horrible.worst than history. =X but never mind.when theres a will, theres a way to complete the notes! =))
met up with kaixin too.we are pig lovers.hahas..hope to see you soon =)) thanks for the few hours.it was great chatting with you.. =)
life as usual..students-projects.adults-working.when needed to get a life-outings with friends. =)
anyway,thanks alot to my few close friends who are always around~ =))
hmm..really wish to spend time doing voluntary work for a period of time maybe this year dec? and my dream is to travel to my few dream countries~shall see~hee.

I created this nickname for myself.hahas.*momopiggie* =P

the story ended nearing to 4 months already.I still missed him.alot.

2009-03-12T23:55:00.002-07:00

More photos~sent by mer~ =)
anyway..enjoy viewing the photos.. =)

2009-03-12T23:55:00.001-07:00

2009-03-12T23:55:00.000-07:00

Mer's 19th adv Birthday Celebration~ =)) Happy Birthday Cousin~ hope you had a great day with me and chewheng~ =)) took alot photos at zoo.but cant be uploading all..so can check out facebook..for more photos.. =)) will upload to friendster soon.. ;)
and folow by some random photos taken during electives~ =)
hmm..projects are so heavy..but well,what more can I say..this is life..
and I have alot of things to update on my blog..but some other time perhaps..I am tired now..

2009-03-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

2009-02-27T23:50:00.001-08:00

The longest wedding dinner I ever attended.hahas.ended 11 plus.then thanks to wendy auntie for giving us a ride home.so we reach home like very fast.hehe.
another cousin of mine is married.Hehe.She is Mavis Tan Fang Ting~my beloved cousin~she is so sweet and nice..now and always.She have been dating james for few years already..the guy is an introvert..hahas..dont talk much..but very nice..and honest..hahas..I am glad she have found her happiness~
the videos shown was very funny..especially in the morning..when james have to go to jie xin niang~hahas..sisters plus my cousin,Mavis put on lipstick and kiss the paper.so James got to guess which one is my beloved cousin lips!hahas.and sad to say..his first attempt was definitely unsuccessful..hahas.the punishment is waxing! hahas..poor brothers~~and my cousin,Mavis requested James to put on apron..hang a few bananas on a 'particular place' *ahem* guys will know.hahas.and here..the bamboo stick comes in..hes going to go a pole dance~my god..thats like sounglam..hahas..but well,guessed he enjoyed himself =X
The MCs were great~really..they liven up the whole atmosphere~and it was special..the mcs were the couple best friends..so one of the MCs..the guy..sang quite a few songs..throughout..hahas..and his voice is really great..hahas..
and its really funny when my gu ma walked to me..and asked me..'qi,you drank wine ah?' ia m like '???' hahas.
she say my face very red.i say no la..its natural.. =X
Its not the first time I hear people saying my face red when i attend any wedding dinner.hahas.
took 1 photo with Bjorn,my intelligent,humurous cousin~hahas..hes as usual~crappy..keep teasing me and touch my hair~zz..and of course.I stopped him from tocuhing my hair.its already messy. =XX
and the flower I got it from him too! hes so weird..got a flower from dont know where..bring it over..and I play with it.. =P
I did took a picture with the bride!!!!! but waiitng for my uncle to send over to me~hehe..
really glad to see my uncle health recovering day by day. =))
I uploaded photos of the wedding dinner and some photos taken with some of my friends~ =))

piles of mountains in projects.lights and darkness in life.
close friends stay close.others drifted away.come and go most of the times.
religion is a belief.Its not restrictions.not forceful.should be flexible.
outings is to enjoy and relax.but thoughts cant seem to fill it up with complete happiness,smiles and laughters.
everyone has a story.everyone have a different path to walk.
but coming to know one another..is a fate.to be treasure..
in rela..I am still waiting..for him..till the day he told me he found the girl..I will silently leave..
few more days..we have parted for 3 months..does he still remember our story..the chapter started..but I really dont know why..he closed it..so sudden..
I want to be the kite you will hold on to.
maybe its just a reverie..waiting..for you..still..

hes always on my mind..

2009-02-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

2009-02-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

I uploaded first farwell photos.
Heres the second farewell photos..plus some random photos..like studying in school and own studying with dearest cousin =)) and I saw rainbow today!!!!! so near to me! so pretty! hehe.
hmm waiting for more photos to be send to me to upload..like photos with group of friends =))
tutorial weeks are reaching..hmm..do ask me out if anyone is bored..hahas..and I will aslo be spending time to study and do work..Study Hard and Play hard~ =))
Couisn,cheer up yea~I know you have sorted out your thoughts..but deep down in your heart,you may still feel disappointed..but no matter what,remember i am always here for you~ =)
Thrifting shops are fun to shop.and confessions of a shopholic movie is coming up soon?and i want kbox.i want jubeat.daytona.i want catch bears.i want bowling.i want sentosa.i want zoo.i want travel overseas.i want jogging.i want gyming.i want mahjong.i want go see the sun rise.i want go star gazing.i want ~blah blah blah~~~~~endless.hahas.

can emotions be under control forever.I dont think so.sigh.

2009-02-25T23:45:00.000-08:00

2009-02-22T23:58:00.001-08:00

Shihui farewell lunch + outing. =( (check out the photos.) =))
I will miss you so much so much.
I will remember what you said.hahas.you say you will send over something on 21st may! =P
I am gonna cry soon.Friday 8am flight! =(( ='(
will upload the videos ASAP. =X
projects.outings.projects.outings.emoing.and Now,I am feeling terribly unwell..high possibility is the weather that make me so unwell? =X
must have plenty of rest and drink more water everyone~ and must remind myself also~hehe..

2009-02-22T23:58:00.000-08:00

2009-02-22T22:56:00.000-08:00

somehow or rather,its really surprising to able to find obscure locations.just imagine not many people will want visit and you can really get good steals over there.hmm.can save money and at the same time be able to find good things.my new hobby now.. *drumroll* hahas.
guess my few friends are addicted now too.I am soo influential..~~woo..lalala..
weekend went to study with mer.went for some 'window' shopping..went to get my favourite popiah at ang mo kio..block 226..wheee~ i ate 3..shiok..hahas..aww..feeling hungry now..
hmm..went out for farewell lunch plus outing with my usual ft clique..pictures to be uploaded soon..so check out my bloggie~~~~~wheee.alot of funny photos and not forgetting the videos.LOL.super hilarious.Its a good way to relieve stress.haahs.
Its a great outing without edmund.. =XX ahhas.joking.hes weak and so hes sick. =( seeing him like soon for another farewell lunch with shihui.and you say you gonna treat me de.dont forget~ =P
well,went for jubeat with them again..I improved again..hahas..then law wanted to challenge me in daytona so well,I take up the challenge.and got into the first position! *clap clap* =P
and did I mentioned I won travis in basketball quite some time ago? =X
hmm..the outing were all about..Song Gou..(song shu de song and gou=dog) guess law will know the entire story..hahas.. =P and I dont know whats with the zuan jiao yu dao ai.. >.<>
and when you go out during weekend,you see crowds everywhere..so my dear clique here have Ren Qun Kong Huang Zheng.Lol.and its very risky to jay walk.so my dear clique have Feng Kuang Zheng.hahas.I dont know what more to elaborate.but the outing is really super entertaining for Once? =XX
I seriously see the need to upload the videos up soon.too funny and cant wait to share~~ hahas.
hmm.case study is really a torture to my mind.I seriously need to stimulate my brain cells.argh.and working on sketch books..etc..its like not as easy as abc..can see huh.."how well "I balance my life..projects..outings..and dont ask me if i am attached..I am not running away..I just dont know how to reply..I always feel very hurt.loving someone wholeheartedly but the other party doesnt seem to like me..i think my devotion and persistance is ruining my emotions alot of times.. soon..it will be 3 months..always thinking how we ended..during early december last year..okay..i shant continue..if not my emotions will go out of control.
hmm.felt its a pity that i cant go musical with diana..hmm..and also cant get to help out for the bridal show at Suntec for one day. =(
hmm.More updates..so stay tune..dont switch channels~ =P
and Serena,Take good Care! dont get injured anymore! =)
I am falling sick soon I guess? =(( go away flu..shoo!

I found the horoscope dice in Singapore..a shop that I never really enter..but the day i entered..I saw..and I..
Bought..

Tell Me

2009-02-19T23:29:00.000-08:00

I dont know if he reads my blog.
I dont know how to express my feelings to him through sms.
I have the urge all the time to message over.but I fear he will give me cold shoulder..
I fear my words will make him feel uncomfortable.uneasy.sad.or mixed.
I wish he can tell me.
tell me,have you let go of me.
tell me,have you cast me to one corner and no longer want bother about me.
tell me,have you forbid me to care for you.
tell me,have you push me away and not allowing me to enter your world.
tell me,you dont want me anymore.
tell me,am I not worthy of you.
tell me,you wont want to see me..

WHY.
Why am I having so many thoughts inside my mind.
Why am I feeling so so sad.
Why do I love you so much.
Why do I feel so pain in my heart.
Why cant I control my tears now.
Why are you in my thoughts all the time.
Why am I longing for you.

If I am given a chance..I wont want to let go of you..but will you.. .. ..

2009-02-19T23:05:00.000-08:00

Firstly,I would like to start off by telling this ungrateful meanie name called edmund.hahas.
the post that have a big group of people.I am not hiding behind.I am 'tall' ma. =X
and you call youself my good friend.fall into my 'trap'. =P Lousy!

and I tagged as requested by YOU.FORCEEEEE ME.boo.
facebook I very lazy.hahas.you got send me anything?I never receive.my facebook 'too hot' to receive what you sent. =P
you MUST fulfil my request also.ASAP.If not i will kick you into dustbin.lala.
before you deny.you force me to tag.heres the eveidence. =X

-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
yo
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
just dun tag its ok 1
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
=D
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
tag my board!
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
and my facebook 1
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
GO TAG dont tok to much!
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
blog and the facebook 1
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
go tag
-=*][NtGuild][*=- ORD LO! call me MR. Edmund =DD says:
NOW

SEE.SEE.SEEEEE! =P
and your friend is so right.got valentine big ah. =P

okay.as usual,free very free.busy,very busy.very glad to found electives group members. =)
and for own course modules.the moment I thought of the pile of mountains stacking up higher and higher..the pressure is so great.too cool to handle.hahas.save me from the hell.argh.
never mind.the power of mind. =)
i can do and do my projects.but i can slack and slack when i am feeling so lazy.feel so hopeless.boo.low morale.
to conclude,I am busy.and I am free.ironic thoughts.haahs.
hmm loving korea bags more and also my backpacks.i know my backpacks getting matured.hahas.I am so in love with my Fila backpack.BLACK! wheee.but its like torn apart? =X =(
thanks dearie girl.for always staying here with me regardless of what.
thanks abby for everything.
thanks meilin cousin for everything and anything.you are wonderful. =)) and I am glad I can be of some help for your part time jobs.enjoy yea. ;) I see will I be leaving during that time..and i should be leaving again around late may too..
shuyi dearie,know you have been very busy..i understand..no worries yea..take good care alright.. =)
and thanks so much SERENA for the effort! sorry ah..if I am a little harsh at times..i really want things get done well..and you are a great help! hehe..thanks so much so much.. =)
I think video production projects are cool~dont feel stress..wheeewheee. =XX
and.before i forgot.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 16 FEB NURHASANI! can see you very touched from facebook reply.hahas.HAPPY BIRTHDAY 18 FEB MUMMY! hope you like the watch i got from you from 25hours.and the cake.i am broke now.going to eat porridge everyday now. =X i want to work! boo.HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUXUAN! 21st! key to freedom! see you soonn! =) and I forgot whens fiona birthday and gary birthday.but I know its FEB too.so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 21st also..so Enjoy yea! =)

the string snapped and the kite fly up high.I dont want to see it happen..
I wish to tell him..but I dont even have the courage now to send an sms over.

2009-02-16T23:22:00.000-08:00

The pink teddy bear very sweet right.hehe.but very expensive also.can hug it already feel very honoured.hahas.

am I forgotten.
I have been thinking.have he let go of me..
I feel very sad..

anyway,sorry to 'someone' for rejection..I am sorry..

2009-02-11T23:58:00.000-08:00

something random.hahas.drawn by serena during vp lectures.first one is me! cute right??hahas.

2009-02-11T23:55:00.000-08:00

Well,I would like to start off by saying Good Job dearest group members! we have put in our best for the electives presentations.cheerios =))
few down.more to go.hahas. any days free can meet up for outings.not to worry.i wont be calling up to ask to meet for discussions and etc so often.so dont get too stressed up.hahas.i just dont want too last minute work.not good. =)) so may have to hurry everyone to get togather and work. =))
and thanks for the cooperation yea..
and sorry ling ling for the last minute belated birthday wish.hahas.I forgotten. =X
hmm.guess serena have been missing me too much.hahas.chatting with me online every night. =P
and thanks for always being here for me in group work.. =))
anyway,I uploaded some photos.what i have been doing lately. =) actually i didnt upload alot. =X
because I cant be taking photos everyday right.hahas.
and I think I shown some improvement in jubeat.chuan and shuyi will know what i meant.hahas.
hmm..hopefully in academic wise..everything will move on well..life is full of stress..hang in and will definitely see the light to success..hehe..
busy.will be very busy from early morning to late evening for certain days.
free.can be free for more than half a day for some days.and weekends as well(will be free) if no one ask me out.haahs.sad hor. =X
shall spend free time to do projects.if not.hmm.as usual..out with friends.hahas.my usual cliques or a few unusual that I dont really hang out with?hahahas.
loved bazzar.can always find 'treasure' there.looking at the photos.you all will notice i got 3 skirts.hehe.
hmm..sorry wilson for dragging the dinner.I dont know when then can meet you.our schedules like forever clashed.will fix another date with you. =) meanwhile,take care and not be too upset..
and yea.i went to visit my little nephew.hes so loved by me..aww..missed him..
met up with dearie girl.hmm.shes a little disappointed when i told her i forgotten how long we know one another.hahas.okay.now i remember alright.the 8th year.lol.
chatted with abby through smses.hmm.was a nice chat.and for god sake.you didnt gain weight okay.I did.I did! lol.1kg.very happy already.hahas.and meet up soonnnnn!~~~~~
cant wait for you mission trips and church thigns to end.like never ending.hahas.and I am just joking with you about certain matters.no hard feelings okay.hahas.I know you wont take it to heart. =P
mer! heres to wish you in advance! All the Best for your upcoming examinations! ;)
have more to update..but I am tired.so let me rest! =X
anyway,to a few of my friends..dont feel dejected when you feel you cant cope really well in work or when you feel you are not moving on in work.everyone make mistakes along the way and we learn.theres no right or wrong.we learn from one another..and alot of things,there is always a beginning..give it a try..when theres a will,theres a way. =)) Its okay to be slow.but its never okay to be lazy.hahas.but human nature. =X so sometimes cant help it la.hahas.I make mistakes along the way too..and i learn.so lets not give up and help one another to work better for projects! =))
we dont work 24 hours.treasure free time to slack as long as possible! hahas.
and thanks melvin for your help for the theatre notes and any sales updates.hahas.
hmm.i thought i am supposed to go sleep.why am i still blogging? lol.okay.now i need bedtime stories.. =X never mind..let pigs do the talking.. =X will go lala land now to find my cute lovely piggy family! LOL.my pillow!my bolster! my blanket! my pigs! =P

stay tune.more updates.and 14 more days..shihui..to wuhan.. =(

feeling sad.but what should i say.or what should i do.
I missed you..

2009-02-11T23:32:00.000-08:00

2009-02-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

Everyday.free or busy with projects.
happy outings.or unhappy happenings.
days still passed.
But the nights have been really sad.
after everything.when the smiles and laughters mask is taken off.all I can see is someone who is not very happy.who seem to have thoughts in her mind now and then.who wish her heart can be a joyful one.the someone is none other than myself.

the feeling of so near yet so far.
so sad.horrible feeling.
If I am given another chance,I will want bring happiness to your life and mine.
have you let go of me.. qi is really sad..

2009-02-07T22:02:00.000-08:00

day by day passed..
valentine day is reaching..
another year..of loneliness?
guessed everything will remain the same.I dont have any rights to ask for anything more.
have been putting myself into the sea filled with work.thats the only way to not think too much?free time will meet up with besties or other activities.thanks all for always making outings so wonderful and joyful.. ;)
hmm.these few days not feeling really well.and have terrible headaches too.hmm.hopefully will be fine soon. =)
went Red dot design museum today.for flea.went alone..not bad..made new friends..and there were some nice works there.. =) and got few items there too.. =)
took some pictures.will upload it soon.
sorry all for the latest post.know its very emo.but its all my heartfelt words.I am feeling really terrible.I missed him alot.but I dont wish to disrupt his life..and i always told myself..he may have found his happiness..
have alot of updates.but now i am too tired to continue blogging..
tomorrow..youth group cny celebration..and after that outing with my ft clique..
projects time,qi have outings..
free time,qi have outings..
to conclude,she have outings anytime! meaning..shes pro at multitasking! =P
okay..too tired=too high=madness. haahs.time for medication! =X
hey all,free can ask me out~
more updates.stay tune~ =)

are you happy.
we do deserve a second try..,we do right..
I shouldnt be greedy right..I should be contented to have you as a friend now right..
or I should really have the chance to work things out with you right..
I dont even have the courage to send you a sms.why.
two months plus..I am never happy..
I wished you dont take a big step to conclusion..
I wished you can slow down to let me catch up..

I love you.

2009-01-31T22:15:00.000-08:00

I went into hiding the hurtfulness in me again and again.

I never once forget my priorites.I did my work.and do what I am supposed to.

but I failed in a certain aspect.the feeling that disrupts my feeling overall.
a few times,I nearly fell.I dont know how to believe in myself to go through all obstacles.
seeing light seems impossible.no.I meant tough,Its so dark out there.I am blinded by the strong sun.I feel like I am knocking walls everyday trying to find my way out of the tunnel.
Yes.my few close friends see me moving on.but the journey of moving on..seems like its going to make me break down.remaining too calm isnt a good thing afterall.supressing emotions..does it helps.
there are so many questions that need answers.
they are racing through my mind in an endless twirl that seemingly seeks to dissipate my will to go on..
alot.alot.its beyond words.
I am frail when it concerns matters of the heart.
why cant I speak freely like the way I do in the past.
why.
I need to pull myself togather now..even if I say so..my heart still feels terrible now.
I feel.we as humans..always tell ourselves we know what we are doing..or why are we coming to this decision..we are in fact just trying to assure ourselves what might be wrong MUST be correct..
alot of times.I cannot understand my actions or words.
did everything happened really happened for a reason.

I cant restrain my emotions now.

by holding back too much..is it good..
by trying to open up more..does it really made one weaker..
I am like a lost lamb in the vast horizon.
I told myself.I reminded myself.I am not supposed to give up hope even the journey seem really exhausting..
but I really fear.everytime I boost up the confidence in me.the level somehow doesnt stays.dropped.and rise.to not give up and persevere will things turn out differently..
should I wait till the day to regret and tell myself I came back too late..
but by persevering..am I causing alot of stress to him..without my existence..will he feels better..?without me disrupting his life..will he feel happier..without me talking so much..will he feel more relaxed..without me..will he see light someday..and find someone better than me..whos more worthy of his love..who will help him walk out of the darkness..without me,will he be leading a more joyful life..and doing things he wanted to..maybe by not seeing me..he wont feel so troubled..he wont have to think of how to smile..and convinced me that hes fine..without me..everything will be more positive for him..am i right..i dont know.i dont have an answer.
If the answer for all is a Yes..how will I feel..

a tissue paper is needed again.I teared,now.

sometimes..I am at a loss for words..and speechless just take me away..

I want to talk to you..I want to know how you feel..and everything..I want to help..but will you ever let me enter..will you talk to me..I am not given a chance..
this feeling brings me back to the past.I am not given a chance.now too.and in the future..I guessed will be the same too..i dont even see future anyway.I have shut it.others can never get in..
I really love someone with all my heart.but will he trust me and have faith in me.I am afraid of hurt.but I am willing to give happiness to someone I loved.without asking anything for return.but i know the chance wont be given to me.maybe to someone else in the future..

longing.missing.reminscing.sadness.painfulness.my heart only tells me one thing.you love him too much.and yes.i dont deny.

BUT.I again reminded myself.we are friends now..

I often asked myself..when a couples are togather..they should help one another to resolve problems..to work it out..or should they just give up..

Its already coming to two months..

am I really happy.a tough smile I have been carrying it around..

you?
hoping you will enjoy your valentine..
guessed the gift I got it from taiwan..I can never have the chance to pass it to you..
hoping the stress in you can go away soon..
will always remember what you said..you will not let go unless I let go..
but by remembering that..I feel very hurtful..because..I feel you seem to be letting go of me..

never think that I will move on happier without having you around..
never think that by not communicating much with me..i will feel better..

I really do wonder..

do you realise..
deep inside me..I am feeling so hurtful..when I am treated this way..

how long more can I hold on.
my tears went out of control.and my eye are red now.
guessed I am tired now..
shall turn in..

2009-01-27T22:42:00.000-08:00

First of all,I would like to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year! moo moo! I am sorry that the grettings came a little bit late.hehe.

getting to meet all cousins and relatives were great.Jadon is going to be three years old this coming August.hes getting more cheeky.hahas.running to me..going so near to my face wanting to kiss my lips.hahas.but hes cute la.very sweet boy boy.hehe.
saw nicholas(19),glen(20),bjorn(18).oh my..they are getting more and more handsome..hahas.and their height all arounbd 180 to 185.goodness.this is crazy.and here,I would like to defend myself.that is I am not short.I am not a dwarf.say it again and you are at risk! hahas. 160 okay ma? Hor? =P
and they are only 18,19 and the other one 20.so tall.madness.we were discussing about jcs and nafa.then I remembered..1 used to be from victoria jc..the other anglo chinese jc and the youngest one..taking his A levels this year Catholic jc.they were all praising their own school.so how can i miss out mine,isnt it?hahas.
seriously..they always feel they are perfect guys..who have the skin colour..the figure..the looks and the brain.I agree to a certain extend la.hahas.and they always insist they are GOOD GUYS. *Faint*
okay.just a joke..we do joke if we are not cousins..how nice it will be huh.lol.then we can be togather..but we ran out of topics la..so yarhs..just finding something to talk..hahahahahas.
one of my cousins was chatting with me about relationships.then he mentioned I should get myself a boyfriend.and reason is because I am 20.hahas.crazy.say I need to settle down..and etc..and somemore plan for me.lol.bua tahan.then he told me how he broke up with his ex.and etc.a very nice cousin. =)
hmm.emotions suddenly went round and round in my mind.not knwoing how to answer.when he asked me..so are you attached? and etc.hmm this questions seems very hard to avoid..because alot of people will always asked.as usual,I will smile and not answer anything..
hmm then this cousin of mine continued to chat..and went to reminisce the past.hahas.telling me about younger times..how noisy I am..and etc...lol..I cant even really remember..but feel quite happy when he say I have quietened down compared to the past..though I am still that active and chatty.hahas.
hmm..went to ym mum and dad side..realised all cousins loved to play blackjack..so being forced to join in..I am happy I won! hahas.
now moving on to mum side..besides playing balckjack..they introduced me to cheater.hahas.and they play board games AGAIN. hahas.quite fun la.what uno spin.what disney monopoly.everyone just scream and scream.lol.very excited..hahas..they can play and play the same board games..if you get to see them everyday..my god..not tired at all one..hahas.
hmm..red packets is not the main focus here..I believed seeing everyone in harmony is something worth to be joy for. =))
lately a little slack for my projects..hmm..must add more oil..
I want but that little black skirt! hehe.and etc..hehehehehhee......
video production going to do reports and act out play already! wheee.hopefully it will be fun.. ;)
not feeling very well today..let the power of mind..help me regain all strength.. =))
and going to visit pharmacy today or tomorrow..hmm~

welcome back..
but dont haunt me anymore I beg you.
If this continues..I will break down soon..
I am trying very hard to control myself and not let any of my words hurt you..
why arent you letting me off.
why must you hurt me again and again.
what should i do before all these end.
let me have a good impression of you..can I?
let me remember the good times.and forget the bad times.
please.
dont hurt me anymore..I dont wish to cry.
If you really care..then dont hurt me.
by haunting me everyday,you are not caring for me..
you are forcing me to accept..your decisions..
you know thats impossible..
if you didnt tell me the big lie..if you didnt ruined the second chance we gave one another..to make the relationship last..and if you didnt treat my efforts of salvaging the relationship as rubbish..and etc etc..we may have last it till now..years have passed..let it go..its too too too hurtful for me to say anything more now..
please..please let me off..
I am just a girl..ordinary girl..I just want everything to be simple..I dont want hurt..I am very afraid of hurt..Very.
dont try to asure yourself what might be wrong must be correct.you are only ruining everything..
she is waiting for you..
treasure what you have..and you will see happiness.

2009-01-23T23:05:00.000-08:00

I dont know why I have the urge to reminisce the past..hmm well..I dont know where the long long ago photos are..guess its somewhere at home..hahas..hmm..the photos I have uploaded now were two years back till now~guess everyone matured now..?meaning look older? =X
I thank everyone for giving me really wonderful memories.. =) from the bottom of my heart..thanks so much so much.. =)

when I didnt know he is actually away because he is busy..feeling so worried..that my mind is crushed to think properly..leaving with my heart that works..but all it tells me is he meant alot to me..but I have to know he is my friend..

2009-01-22T23:16:00.000-08:00

was chatting with li wen earlier on.hmm.was sharing with her I have been feeling restless these days.dont know why.she told me its because I cant let my mind clear of thinking and I kept on thinking about things/broading about things.hmm.I feel its really true.

Sigh~anyway,I dont think its because of stress or what.I am worried.worried about someone.lose contact with him these few days.couldnt get to him.hopefully hes fine..I am doing work..attending classes..hanging out with friends or alone some times..I still cant help feeling worried..sigh.

guessed there are also alot of thoughts on my mind lately.

then was thinking of how to not feel restless.then got alot of ideas..quite funny.haahs.was sharing with li wen..hahas..

like she told me draw trees can end up in drawing vegetables.lol.

I told her i wanted to draw female illustrations may end up drawing male version one. =P

I may even express my emotions through drawings.and may end up crying?hmm.

I wont scream.maybe shout,jump or 'plucks hair'.hahas.

can imagine doing all these weird things in bus?people may think I am mad..hahas.

hmm.really missed abby alot! ahh! and chewheng dearie.boo~where you girls! grr. =P

meetups soon.hehe.sorry that our schedules always clashed..sigh..but at least we didnt lose contact.. =))

hmm.and think I am meeting up with my dear cousin so often that I am getting tired.hahas.oops! I never say that! joking only..hehe.. =P

anyway..ed..maybe you can take over the plannins and update me..hahas..

hmm..met up with wilson today..chatted alot..and also thansk so much for the shoe! hopefully the size and colour is correct! hahas..if not carol will kill me.. =P

and my hair is getting longer..i went to trim my back..at least is not so thick..hehe..and when it gets longer..i am going to trim it again..zz

and I changed my side fringe to bangs! hahas..looks kinda fuuny.never mind.. =P

take a look! =))

2009-01-20T23:10:00.000-08:00

projects are piling up.but well..I should take it as a learning experience..this is part and parcel of life.hang in,be strong.
my life seems very busy.In fact,its not that exaggerating ba..out of seven days..I am not busy everyday..I will use my free time visiting library to use com do researches and etc.If not,I will be sticking to my friends..or have meet ups with my clique for outings. =) like what they say..forever endless topics..forever of new exploration of places..hahas.
I have quite a few photos to upload.but I am lazy! =P Its taken during drafting classes.guess my weakest module seem to see some hope.I am improving.a little.I hope to do better.will do my best. =)
hope my strong modules..can continue to become stronger..but expectations seem to be going higher and HIGHER..shall not give myself so much stress..put in my best effort and work on it.. =)
attended strategic management lecture today..was kinda interesting..9am class and you see everyone feeling so lazy and moodless.our beloved lecturer..taught us something..its combined class anyway..so everyone were asked to cross their legs up..like how one will pose during yoga class..hahas..then two hands like meditation..close our eyes..take a deep breadth and say.. 'Ommmmmmmmmm' lol.followed by wuuuuu.....then yiiiii.....and lastly ahhhhh.....lecturer say can help to make us more energetic and ready for morning classes.so yeaps.its pretty true la.hahas.but was kinda funny.I am wearing dress..and my lecturer goes like..'oh my..maybelyn is wearing dress..how is she going to cross her legs up..? hahas.and I did it okay..I managed to cross my legs up in the end..Pro hor? =P
and when we were all doing tt funny things..to keep us awake during the class..quite alot people couldnt controlled themselves.and started giggling.I am proud to announce..I am one of them! hahas..I started giggling..then losing control and burst out into laughters..and this way keep me more awake I feel.. =X too bad I didnt get to take photo of everyone doing "yoga".lol.
have been feeling a little little bit of restlessness these days..dont know why..gets very tired easily..weather too nice already.. =X
open house is over anyway..was good..and I really dont know why my form teacher insists I should get myself a boyfriend.and she gave me the cheeky grin on her face..*questionmarks* hahas.never mind.I didnt answer her anything anyway..
theres alot of great sales this week..so people..do take note ah..hahas.
want to go kbox soon.want more outings. =)
cant wait to get my cny goodie bag from school.hahas.sounds interesting huh.wonder do we get goodie bag for all festive season? =P If yes,that will be great! =X
hmm.everyone have been telling me 'ponyo' is nice..but I dont like leh.. =P
and counting down..feb is reaching..shihui..ahh! =(
dont feel any cny mood this year..boring..boringgggg.....wonder if my cousins will entertain me..hahas..
I need to apologise for rejection.that particular someone will know what I meant.really thanks so much for being there for me always..thanks alot..I am very sorry..I didnt know..until you..told me..I am sorry for not being able to tell you anything or for not saying much..I have my own reasons..so dont ask me why..sorry..
to this person who knows very well who you are..dont haunt me every day and night anymore..I can sensed from your words..if you really meant well..then treat her well and dont hurt her..by hurting her..you are hurting me as well..because I know how she feels..and I will never want to see you and her end up in..you know.so yarhs.please..I beg you..let me off..why wont you just let me keep the good memories..after so long.Its a long long story..I dont wish to bring up..if you could recall..then you should really stand in my shoes and understand me.I will really appreciate it.also..dont ask me if I have someone in my heart..I dont think I need to say anything to you..I am sorry..
once again..all I an say is before you do anything or say anything..think of the past..but like I once said..I already forgeive and forget about it.so..please..treasure your happiness..dont haunt me..dont..sigh.

to shuyi:you have to persevere to the end..be very very strong..and you can overcome all obstacles..everything will be fine..anything..I am always a phone call away.. =)

wonder how electives will be tomorrow..hmm..

I am feeling very sleepy..I should turn in early today?
I think I should. =)

2009-01-16T23:45:00.000-08:00

I didnt blog for about two weeks?
well,school starts..first week is coming to an end..overall,a pretty good week for me..lots of happenings..met up with my besties..night time was doing some research work and etc etc..
as usual..projects can never get out of my life..they are so sweet and thoughtful..wishing to keep me company as long as they can..giving me many chances to suck all knowledge from my lecturers.. =P I should feel fortunate huh.. >.<

thanks woman for getting me trucco things from overseas! =)) love it lots.[you know who you are] hahas.

Electives were pretty fun..especially theatre..its kinda dry I admit..but..I enjoyed it..and I look forward to the paper examination and etc..hahas..
i think i need to know more about my beloved video production and interactive media..the class kinda big..

Menswear is seriously giving me a terrible headache.sigh.I should learn to treasure what I used to do.WOMENSWEAR!

during holidays,i did some sketches on jewelleries..and lately dont know why..the passion in it is back very strongly..oh my..stay focus in what I should do and learn! Wake up,Qi!

group work is all about being able to work with others.to learn and grow.but i feel we have to choose the right friends to work togather..this is very important..school doesnt allow us to work alone..so yarhs.

asked to help for shcool open house..so got to wake up early.even on weekend.boo. =(

i guessed mer will agree with me..flea markets nowadays are getting more disappointing..will we be able to get unqiue thigns from there again.. *wishing upon a star* =P

and I am happy to be able to have a chat with my sewing lecturer for three hours..alot of reasons to it actually.. =)

anyway..sorry for rejection to someone..sigh..its a long story..
shall update it some day soon..

and I am sorry to a particular person too..I didnt meant to hurt your feelings..but i really cant accept..I have my own reasons..I am very sorry..

thanks ed..for meeting up and the dinner plus the chat..and that place very nice hor..so windy..i wearing dress leh.. =(

havent get to listen properly to the podcast shihui sent me..hahas..think shes going to kill me..hahas..

I need to visit du shu guan soon..aww..I am so hardworking.. =XX

anyway..thanks to the people who have meet up with me..and I enjoyed every little moments with you all. =))

Its gonna be soon to learn to balance everything..when one gets too busy..or when theres free time..dont waste it! =)

reunion dinner..this weekend with youth group..
wishing for outings..
wish to gain more knowledge in work.. =))
wishing chinese new year will reach soon..to get $! whee. =P and to slack =X because its holidays! =X
wishing my ckj pay will reach SOONNNNN.argh.
and alot more wishes..
I am sleepy..I need to turn in soon..*yawnz*

the real smiles and laughters that came from my heart..
is it back..I dont think so.. .. ..

2009-01-01T22:45:00.000-08:00

This is my first post for 2009..so I shall start off by saying Hello Everyone! hahas.
2008 left us.no matter what happens throughout the year..most important thing is we grew up from everything we faced and learn something.. =))
I admit I did bring some things from 2008 to 2009.I didnt leave it at where it should be left..
I welcome the new year with a little bit of tears.guess the love and misses that have been staying all these while still stays..and I moved on everyday bringing the love and misses everywhere I go..I see my strong side when I am with my close friends..when I am outside..when I am doing drawings..I see my weak side when I dont have something to work on..when I am alone..when late night is here..silently..the tears are back..
anyway..
school will start on Jan 13..I am looking forward.but I cant bear to see holidays ending.hahas.how contradicting.
for elective..I have got into theatre..video production where I will be learning flimmaking and I have got into interactive media too.. =)) I am going to work very hard.because I still have my own course modules..stress will be here soon but I am going to see stress differently this time round. =) I am not someone who will spent all my days doing work.I need to breathe too.hahas.so to my friends who read my post, dont have to wory you all will disturb me..because I will definitely have time for you people.hehe.if i am busy,will let you all know yea. ;) If no one ask me out,I will just spend my free time see can do what or go where ba..hahahas..
and I missed my few besties.sigh.our schedules clashed.[most of the time] booooooooooooooo.
but I am glad we always have some free time to meet up..its the effort we have put in for our friendship. =)) thanks alot girls.. =))
hmm..must meet up with shihui more already..she is going overseas very soon..god..going to be away from singapore for five months! near to half a year! *faint* how am I going to live without you especially in ft..hahas..you must remember your task on 21st may! =XX =P
and I havent got my pay.argh.this is so !@#$%^&*()~. me,bernice and rasche going to wait till 5th of Jan.If not..we are going to contact our manager or we may head down to the outlet to get our pay.I think this is taking far too long.2008 dragged to 2009.I am at a loss for words.kinda pissed.no sense of responsibility.how to trust them and work for them again.sigh.
some thoughts:
I realised we humans are actually not that busy until we have no time for anything.we just dont want to make an effort to spend time with others.we fail to treasure what we have and we take things for granted too easily.
I know its tough to plan time well.but at least put in some effort.for our closed ones.and loved one.even we are really busy..I believed we can at least contact them through sms and etc.I am sure that will made their day and warm their heart.its the thought that matters.. =))
yesterday feel very proud of myself..I cleared all my secondary school stuffs FINALLY.applause please.hahas.and I managed to put all my art stuffs into my cupboard.now its easier to find the things I want.whee.hmm.I realised I got ALOT ALOT ALOT of art things.materials,past work..experimental pieces and alot.hahas.to be frank,I not only have alot of art things,I have alot of dvds..and accessories..clothings..shoes..hahas..but I loved to stick to my few clothings and etc..hahas..I loved games too! hahas..sigh..too bad..no psp..I wish to get one but no $$$$$.*screammmmmmmmmms* =P
was doing some drawings and realised I am lacking of ideas..haiyo..I am getting old.. =(
oh.I am broke.declaring bankrupt.so pleaseeeee save meeeee.by finding sales for me to shop. =X
I ate alot these days..but still maintaining my perfect weight.lol.I dont want to zou yang. *cries*
hmm.I have got my cny clothings.spent around 200plus.the designs are nothing special.simple designs.got 1 yellowish white dress.can match with leggings.and can wear for casual outings.the dresses I have got are not those grand kind for attending wedding dinner or what.hahas.and I got one floral dress.and eevry year without fail..I will get myself a pair of jeans..and I have got two tops too.
nothing better to do.I got a pair of black pants..lol..i find it cheap and the quality is good.. =)
and i have got one 3/4 pants..3 pairs of shorts from mum. =)
think I am going to have another little nephew or niece soon.hehe.. =P
hmm..I need do some readings..library again? I dont know.see how.

I dont know how to be happy.
I am trying hard.the more I push myself..the worst it gets.
I only know life have to move on everyday.
but deep inside my heart..I have expressed my thoughts to him..though its not all my thoughts..I did say how I feel for him..after the tough three weeks..
its going to be a month..no contact doesnt mean I have forgotten you..
how have you been..

I have keep you in my heart..silently..

幸福是。。。。。。？

2008-12-27T23:20:00.000-08:00

每一天，就算心理并不是真正快乐，我还是把生活过的充实。
我不断的前进。。就算在每个方面都能够应付。。
我还是觉得自己是个失败者。
我的心好痛。心理下了一场好大的雨。
我在雨中不停的寻找你，我好想念你。。你知道吗？
但现在我才学会珍惜。。是不是太迟了。。
我就算不放开。。你也会离我而去。。
难道我们真的必须这样结束。。

我好想对你说。。。。。。
我爱你。

2008-12-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

maybe saying too much in my past rela.this time round,I am loss for words now.I only know how to keep quiet and dont know how to expressed out all my feelings.I hide some emotions.In the past,I will work hard to bring back the rela until i know after many tests..we still cant go through or for some reasons..now..I agree on things too easily..I fear I will become too emotional..I fear I will say something wrong..and hurt the other person and myself..I am very sensitive to people's feelings..especially in rela..
I learnt alot from my past rela..really..I am very thankful to someone who once given me the best memories.but also I have let go of all the hurt and pain he had given me.but the scar will stay in my heart forever.and heres something I wish to let you know..the best memories you had given me..I will keep it inside my heart and nothing more.you should treat your gf well now..give her happiness..and dont hurt her..that will be your greatest gift to me..really.you know it yourself the hurt and pain in the past is unimaginable.too scary..you know very well..I am a girl who is very devoted to a rela and dont let go easily..but one incident after another..you know I am at my wits end and near to breaking down.really..forgive me for making a decision now..dont think about anything else now..treat her well..all the best.. .. ..if you dont think too far now..I promise we are still friends..you should treasure what you have now..

I never know I am so useless and stupid..
I never know I am so weak in rela..
I thought I could handle everyth well..
but in rela..I am just nothing.I dont have special ability to bring miracles.
why didnt I treasure what I have..and let him go..why..
why am I tearing these 3 weeks..why am I thinking about him all these while..why..that longing feeling..why is it even in taiwan..hes still on my mind every moment..why..why am i tearing silently when I am in taiwan..why..
I see something in myself..I fail to prove something..I cant even go through a single test or obstacle with him..am I worth to stay in his heart..I wish so much to keep him..but he will run right..i dont know..i fear..my appearance..makes him unhappy right..I dont know..i hope to salvage everything..will make him stressed..am i right..i dont know..my hurt and pain..will someone ever understand..I am so helpless..really very lost..I missed him so much..should I just give up like that..should everything end in this way..why is it ending this way..loving someone..should be walking with him no matter how tough the journey its going to be right..why am I letting him to walk alone..he doesnt allow me to walk with him right..I dont know..I dont have answers to all these questions..I wish my tears can stop..but it never stops..especially inside my heart..
hes someone I wish I can hold him till the endless of time..but I can never be the one for him right..i dont know..

anyway.thanks to my few besties for staying with me all these while..lets treasure the time we have..and lets study hard and play hard togather.. =) sy..alot of things..i can really understand..especially what you are going through now..you will be fine.. =)

I have alot to say..but I will stop here for now..take care all..

he once told me..I am someone who will let go when the string snaps..but I am not..I dont want to let go..
I wish i can share all my happiness with him..
these few weeks made me regret..for not keeping him..

will i ever get to see him again..
the last time when I saw him is the time he bought me two bottles of water..

2008-12-23T22:35:00.000-08:00

he meant so much to her..
but her emotions cant went out of control..not supposed to have the longing feeling..but why is it still hanging around..after weeks..
she only expressed her feelings to herself..because again and again..she knows the answers herself.. .. ..she told herself..his happiness is what that matters most..so she got to control her emotions..

Merry Christmas to all..
[she wished she can have him by her side to celebrate this Christmas.. .. ..]
[shes dreaming again..]

2008-12-21T22:59:00.000-08:00

Good times never lasts.Hello all.I am back from my one week taiwan trip. =)
kinda missed the days when I am over there.the trip made me grow up once again.learnt alot things.and got to see people true colours..especially the ones you have been with them for years but didnt realised they are actually people who are so abcdefg so yarhs.you all know what I meant la huh.hahas.
I am still the one who loves to spread joys to people's life.to chat,to have fun and to be serious when its time to be. =)
Its always best to keep quiet and smile when you see people playing twist and turn games with you.seriously,testing patience.playing mind games skills comes in at this point of time.well,cant be help.to not give myself more troubles..acting dumb is the best solution.let people voice out their unhappiness.If everything goes beyond my control,only then I will give some comments.I am human.I have human rights too,isnt it? =)
lets not talk about other people now.Priority is to do my own part well. =)
really enjoyed myself with my few friends..I have uploaded some photos to friendster so people,can check it out there. ;)
loved shopping over there though main objective is to go there for religion.hehe.through my religion..really learnt alot..and very touched also.. =))
and its a pity cant go wu men fu at taipei to shop.hahas.but never mind.I will save $$$$$$$$$ to go in few years time! and I want hongkong! and sydney!!!!! =P
christmas is reaching..whee..meeting besties and good friends! and will get to see my little JADON! =))
I think I am not the only one who realised that..my few friends do feel the same way as I do too..every year end sure bound to have some happenings one.sigh~
after christmas..I want to read more books..do more researches to prepare for school reopen which is in around 3 weeks time?hahas..a little kiasu la hor.hahas.I want do well.. =)
and 31st Dec!!!!! last day of 2008! wonder how my day will be like..every year on this day i am always stoning at home.. =X

she never forgotten him during that one week trip.
he is always on her mind..
did he forgotten her..
sorry..
she couldnt stop her mind and heart from thinking and having that longing feeling..
she will be able to handle her emotions well..

2008-12-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

3am flight on friday.
all of sudden..brings me back to some time ago..when someone was away for three weeks..at that time..I wish so much I can go train with him..but thats not possible..still remember on that day..the last day I will get to see him before he fly..I left him with a smile..and teared when I am on my way to take bus..I dont know how to express out my love for him that time..really..I dont know why I can be so useless at times..why cant I just show my feelings bravely..instead of keeping a little inside my heart..I didnt know I am that dumb..
my heart long to be with him..every moment before hes going overseas..when hes over there..I am facing the toughest period.too many tasks on hand.I feel like a failure.but still,I managed to pull through with the support of my besties..and with the determination in me..I never want say die..because I believed 'attitude plays a very big part in my life..right attitude is the key to success..I have come to realised that..and thats not too late..
and during that time..some incidents happened too..though hes not by my side..I have always placed him tight in my mind and heart..I know hes supporting me even though he seem to be very far way from me..toughest period will still passed..and I made it through..really glad..and I know in future..I will be facing more things..so i cant afford to fall..
still remember every day that time..though cant contact much..I pray for him every night before I sleep..hope hes safe over there..now come to think of it..my face wears a smile..
3weeks are not short..but not long too..soon..the awaiting day came..feeling very happy..but the happiness stopped..very soon..I dont know..I really dont know..should everything end this way..why is it ending this way..I have got no answers to these questions..my weak side revealed again now..
at this point of time..my tears went out of control again..
I am sorry.I am weak..
I know at airport tomorrow night..I will cry..dont laugh at me alright..I know..in life,one day can have alot of happenings..so I am really leaving singapore with worries..seems like I am going to cry everytime my friends fly..or my turn to fly..sigh..I feel like a crybaby..hahas..

maybe.

she is not worthy of his love.

she hate herself.

for not being able to give him happiness.

If.

she had a chance.

she wont allow herself to ruin everything.

crying doesnt seems to help.
but she treasure everything too much..
she never knew everything matters so much so much.. ..

she hopes to see him..

her wish cant seem to fufil..

she is going to leave with tears..

and back with tears..

his three weeks.she cant bear to see him go.and she looked forward for him to be back..
her eight days.shes reluctant to leave..and shes going to be back with tears..the longing feeling..the empty feeling..

2008-12-10T23:20:00.000-08:00

well.seems like I have been updating my blog these few days.I gonna miss singapore so much though its only 8days trip.i felt silly though.and I want to go sydney and hongkong and many other places..I am greedy..hehe..
Friday.soon.I should be feeling excited.but thats not really the case.I am quite sad actually.I am going to miss quite some people.those I am really closed with.Uncle,take very good care of yourself okay! qiqi will be fine.. =))
went out with chuan and shuyi today..it was a great outing..we sang alot of 'nice' songs..hahas..and was really super cold..aircon is FOC.lol.and went arcade.tried the new machine! =)) chuan is an expert..hahas..and I went to get some things too.. =))
took some photos.will upload when I am back from my trip.hahas.but sadly,no group pic.. =(
guess I am slowly getting used to my handphone..hehe..
and I saw chinhuat today! and his girlfriend! =))
well,and I saw the auntie I used to work with! so glad to know shes fine.enjoy chatting with her.. =))
I dont know if I am looking forward to christmas this year..but the plans are almost all settled..so yarhs..see how ba..I will make it a great one no matter what..so yea.. =) still,there are free time where i can meet other people..so people if want ask me out,can message me.. =))

she wears a smile in and out everyday.she is not truly happy in her heart.why is that so.
she keeps herself so busy almost everyday.she make an effort to revert back to her old happy self.shes trying hard to make everything fine.
compared to the past,she feels she have grown up alot..but shes a human afterall.
theres love in her heart still.but the love no longer open to anyone anymore..she decided to keep it for him...just keeping it silently..till the day he found his happiness..she will buried the love in her heart..shes aware they are friends..so she didnt say anything..just caring for him..knowing that hes fine..and everything turns out better for him..she will feel glad..
she have been a strong girl.but her weak side always revealed when shes alone.she suppressed her feelings these days.and when alone..she will cry a little.for ten minutes.not all the times.but when she couldnt suppressed her feelings anymore..she will cry..
no worries..shes okay..
she just wants to gives him happiness..but when she try to reach..she will somehow fall..and trying to stand up again..

one has to learn to believe.only then will be able to see hope..

to her..when missing him is a happiness..and not pain..
she understood..this is love..
but she knows that ONE star is moving away from her..
she doesnt know what to do..

life still moves on.and..

she dont know how to put it..

2008-12-08T23:15:00.000-08:00

Outing with my FT clique on PH!! Hope everyone enjoyed themselves! =))

2008-12-07T23:55:00.001-08:00

Guilong and Hui Xi wedding at TG! =))
Photos uploaded..! =))

2008-12-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

2008-12-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

Thanks so much so much mummy.She got me a small emboriodery backpack.and it cost $40.very expensive.felt so bad after she made the payment.shouldnt have made her spent.. so much..just because I said I liked it alot..and was staring at it for quite some time..
she got me one pair of shoe..for trekking?hahas..i loved the texture and the design..and my dad got me a pair of leather shoe..white colour..very cool..i loved it too.. =)
mummy say I have got really nice accessories..hahas..I have spent years collecting it..and alot are very unique..and she was wondering what I accessories I will be wearing for tomorrow wedding dinner..hahas..i told her nothing complicated..simple and nice..I loved my grey dress the most..plus another dark grey one..but I will be wearing a light green dress tomorrow..dont know why..no mood for grey dress?grey colour very emo leh.. =X hopefully green one looks good? =) will definitely upload photos.. =)
but dont laugh if I look ugly ah.. =(
i think I can pack luggage really very fast..hahas..'phyphy' must be enjoying herself in hongkong now.. =)
christmas plannings are more or less plan already..but still have some free time in between..so people..if you all want meet me..can let me know the time alright.. =)
still havent get use to using my new handphone.. =(
flying in few days time..must shop shop shop.. =)
somehow..the excitement level no longer rise..it goes down instead..sigh..guess only I know the reason myself..
I think the colouring looks aweful..was trying to help cousin with the colouring of illustrations..her school standard really weird..hahas..its okay..I will try my best yea.. ;)
monday public holiday..meeting ft clique..going new cafe..whee..but will be a short day..I guess? =)
was thinking of some new theme for my upcoming projects..and stealing some ideas from my cousin..muahahas..so I wont have a headache..evil huh..hahas.. =P
cant wait to see my besties..sigh..wait for me to come back okay girls! =)
lux..want meet me before I fly ah?
hmm..I was wondering whos the smiley face..the one who tag my board..I guessed the person..is..sy?hahas..
anyway..glad to know chuan didnt take up the job! =)
and got people say I photogenic..hahas..I didnt know..u all want make me happy so say that right! hahahahahas..
hmm..i want watch Phantom of the Opera..anyone got the dvd or what?hahas..
well..thats all for now.. =)

smiles and laughter..hiding underneath..only she knows..
its okay..shes fine..
she wish for a miracle..she missed him.

Halfway round the globe,the star loses its light,she tried to reach out with all her might but she just couldnt grab..As the star she yearn so much..continue to fade away..all she saw was darkness and a dim of light still..she dig and dig towards..hoping to see him..

2008-12-03T23:40:00.000-08:00

my last day of work..ended well.but was very very busy.the tons of boxes of stocks.and the bazzar stocks.and the packing and everything.the dust made my nose so itchy..and I sneezed like no one business.my god.I pray I dont get sick.phew..I am fine..shoo shoo medicine..
well..pay will be after christmas..this is super depressing..no choice but to wait..
have been saving money..and I am still feeling broke..I will be flying to taiwan next friday..hope to be able to get something nice for my close ones..and lux..I wont forget to get something for you.. =) you and the other two so mean.. =P how can laughed at me..you say i silly somemore..you know what I meant okay! you! humph.but that time was a very memorable way of seeing her off okay..I see her cry for the FIRST time leh.hahas.one just came back.another one flying to hongkong this friday.and yes.dont forget your highness is flying next friday.hahas.and you..erm..flying next next friday? =XX anyway..thanks ah..your blog..hahas..what a post..say I copy your idol..that idea not I came up one leh..hahas..but thanks thanks..I know I am your beloved..hahas..I am very touched but I wont cry.. =P
we shall meet soon..soon.. =)
dearie,I missed you alot..will see you around christmas alright..meanwhile,take care..coming to 8years of friendship..wa..time files..and I wont forget the belated birthday celebration.. =) I have got little surprises for you.. =) and my cousin will be joining..I will make the outing a memorable one for you and my cousin.. =) anyway,thanks for the messages and call today..take care at work okay.. =)
abby,misses! misses! misses.. =( you fly around..but I never forget you said you wanted meet me around christmas..and I saw the pictures..*ahem*..will start interrogating you..hahas..tell me stories okay..hahas..
cousin..sorry if we didnt get to contact so often nowadays..i know you have been very busy with school projects..I will help you whenever you need my help..so dont get too stress..Jiayou.. =)
shuyi dearie..thanks so much so much..for everything..really..and I read the postcard..I am very touched..I teared..and you have talent in drawing..really.. ;)
and thanks for the chinatown trip..and the longgggg walk from fullerton to chinatown..hahas..though we sweat like mad..I guess you are feeling good after that.. =)
and really paiseh ah..I didnt meant to laugh at what you told me regarding that aura tinky..I know you care.. =)
hope you enjoyed this trip..
shihui..I will be seeing you soon yea..dont miss me too much okay..hahas..but feb is reaching soon..aww..I will miss you alot..must send me letter ah..hahas..
and my cousin is going overseas soon too..my god..will be away for quite long also..ahh..misses..and I am glad the mood board pictures were alright.. =)
anyway..went to uncle james house yesterday..I shared with uncle my thoughts and my feelings on some things..I teared..and hugged him..I have made him worried..sorry uncle..I am fine..dont worry anymore.. =) since young,because I am being taken care by my this uncle family..and even after I have grown up to a big girl..they are still here for me regardless of what and always give me the best..others say they have spoilt me..I dont feel that way..because..from them..I learnt to treasure peope around me more..and I become stronger and stronger..I am not spoilt..I can be an independant girl..but when it comes to affairs of the heart..I admit I am not that strong..
anyway..saw my little nephew yesterday..Jadon..boy boy is getting cuter.. =) 2yrs old..but he learnt alot in school..he saw me yesterday..very happy..and sing songs for me..and he talked alot..though a few things he said I dont understand..hahas..I still nod and pretend to understand..hahas..his own language..and I was stoning..he asked me dont worry..sit down..and he clean the floor..and ask me to play toy toy with him..so cute right..hehe..though the way he pronounce words still not accurate..but I feel hes very clever at his age.. =))
I guessed he knew I am stoning.. =XX he brought his little yellow pillow to my lap..lie down..then after that gave me hug hug..very sweet of him..loves jadon boy boy.. =)
and my other friends..I missed you all..hope everyone is doing fine..take care.. =)

she teared.and she have had a bad cry.
her heart aches so so badly but she knows..
she have given him a promise..so she got to stay strong..

the relationship meant so much so much to her..

2008-11-29T23:55:00.000-08:00

the past two posts have been VERY emo.hmm.but the two posts made me realised..I should not continue to emo anymore.
I have made up my mind.
I want to spread joys to people around me.esp my close ones and the one I loved deeply. =))
In life,many things are so unpredictable.and yes.no doubt underneath happiness,humans ALL have things to trouble and worry.but everything lies in the human state of mind.
no matter how tough life seems to be,I always believed a smile can made someone's day brighten up. =)) and laughters spread..and make people cheer up lots. =))
I am going to stay very strong.of course at certain times..one cant help to feel affected by some matters he or she is troubled with..but being happy will make everything turns out fine! so must be optimistic! =))
more updates soon! Monday last day of work! Sunday OFF! WOO~

the messages..
she really meant it..
and she wished to walk this journey WITH HIM..no matter how tough its going to be..
no matter what happens in the future..no one knows..but she knows she want to treasure him when she still have the chance to..

she loves him.and she misses him lots. =)

2008-11-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

I feel like tearing.I am touched.really.I am not good in expressing myself.I really thank my besties and few really v gd friends for being here for me always..I didnt know alot people actually read my blog.just that they dont tag.my besties and few v gd friends understand me..they dont probe..they always stay by my side to comfort me..talk me round..care for me..and never give up in persuading me to see life in many different ways..and they know someday when i am ready to share whatever problems i am facing,i will.If i do not wish to share,i will just keep quiet.but whenever i am out with them,no matter how hard i try to put on a smile all day long or to really laugh happily all day long..they still can sensed..[qi is troubled.]even i dont talk much..i still will make every outing a wonderful one with my close ones..i feel that i shouldnt let my things affect my outings with them..
actually..I am fine in all aspects..still living life to the fullest..no worries people.. =))
i read a certain blog..I am very sure the person is me..i dont know why you suddenly came up with that post for me..hmm..maybe you can tell me the reason? =) anyway..I have to thank you..you have really been a great friend all these while..time passed very fast..and you have found your happiness.. =) you always try to reply to my messages no matter how busy you are..and from your messages..i really learnt some things from you..and your messages cheer me up alot.. =) you are my good friend..and will always be.. =) as for the past..really very long ago..why you brought it up..hahas..
and now i have a few people to thank..[if names not mention here,doesnt mean i forgotten you okay.]hahas.
Chewheng.[friendship reaching 8th year. =)]
Meilin.[my cousin.my 'sis'. =)]
Abby.[a true friend.one of my bestie too.and a busy friend as well.hahas.]
U.[you know who you are..hahas..my good friend and "hao jie mei" HA HA. =P]
Shihui.[always here for me to make me laugh..hahas..and thanks for your tag as well as the msn chat.. =)]
Shuyi.[my 'laopo'..my busy friend too..hahas..always supporting me through esp during my tough times..]
and a few more..shall continue the namelist again.. =P
and my current workplace..my colleagues..alot of people to thank..wait till this job ends..then i will put the names up here okay..hahas..we all must cheer up togather! few more days only! hang in there! =))

she dont wish to be drifted apart from him..
but she knows nothing gold can last forever..
she wish to bring him happiness..
she dont know what the future holds for them..
she dont want to let him see her tears..
she wants him to feel loved..
she hopes to see him smile..from his heart..
she loves him..and she really do..
she will treasure every time spent with him..as long as she gets to see him..
she really cares for him..and..
she will stay strong..very strong..

will he let her love him..

2008-11-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

Finally.I got my off day.hopefully this week will be a slack one.DONT change my schedule pleaseeeee. =(
next week will be preparing for taiwan trip.i think i can finish packing in like less than three days. =P seriously the excitement level seem to drop somehow.
I am going to get a pair of new shoe next week as well.plus my new handphone.i think so?I wanted to trim my hair but decided not to.i also dont know why. =X
two weeks of work going to end soon.i am not going to continue.see how in the future ba. =)
now planning for christmas.i shall make it a memorable one for my close ones. =)
thanks dearie for making my off day a wonderful one. =) 1month plus more..our friendship..the 8th year.. =) I shall have a long post on Jan 09.for you.sound very mushy. =P but really.thanks so much all these years for being there for me whether its joys or sorrows..you always pull me out of any situation I faced..and you never fail to be there for me when i really need someone to have a laugh with me,a shoulder to cry and you have been a great listener.. =)
will see you soon in the upcoming month..togather with my cousin.. =)
going to start thinking what christmas gifts to get for my close ones. =)
and i will try meet as many people as possible for the upcoming month..I am sorry friends..my shcedule is a little tight at times..I will try to meet you all okay.. =) but dec 12 to 20 i will not be in singapore so do not contact me during that period okay.. =)
workplace have been pretty happening.i shall update about my workplace after this week. =)
I got to meet a few really nice friends.. =) and of course theres some meanies too.. =P

last night.she isolated herself.and she teared.she didnt really sleep.her heart aches so badly.but she didnt utter a single word the entire night to any of her close ones.she didnt make any calls to her besties.she didnt message them too.she just silently teared..with the accompany of a box of tissue paper..
she was not shocked by the messages she received.because shes fully aware about everything already..she didnt run away..she just want to face the situation in a very optimistic way..
her past made her realised she cant be too emotional..she have to control when shes outside with friends and people she faced..she cant let her emotions went out of control..she have to try solve everything in a calm and rational way..
she thought she will stay single for her entire life..because she intended to do so after the first failure..because the blow is way too huge..she really decided to close the door of her heart..because someone she loved so much actually hurt her too deep for her to recover.after two years..miracle happened..one day she met him..someone who melts her heart..and with contacts and etc..and time passed.. she knew she is really ready for a new rela..so she entered..
shes aware of the situation he is facing..but she really hopes to help him..wishing one day she can help him overcome the obstacle that has been staying in his heart..she knew what is going on throughout..but she told herself its okay..love is selfless giving..love is forgiveness and grace..isnt it..she knows nothing gold can last forever..life is so unpredictable..who knows what the future hold for him and her..but she still hope one day he will love him with all his heart..she doesnt know what kind of feeling he is looking..because in every diff rela..the feeling is different..she doesnt know how to help get the feeling back..and due to his commitments in army..both of them can only get to meet once per week or when theres time..so how can she help find the feeling back..she have been trying her best..but she feels so useless..but still put on a smile..everyday..she really feels very helpless when she sees him stress..she can only teared quietly..
she feels shes not worthy of his love..because she wanted him to be happy but doesnt seem to be able to make him happy..
all these while she loved him wholeheartedly..but she knows how he feels for her..hes still lost..not knowing what to do..she knows all these will take some time..so she never hurry him or add on extra stress to him..and shes contented as long as she gets messages from him..it doesnt matter how he treat her..because she understand hes in a difficult position..
shes so upset..even till now..no more cries..but tears still..
when she is alone waiting for train..or buses..shes in a daze..and theres tears in her eyes..but after that control it..because she want to live up promise to be happy once again..she will be fine very soon..by tomorow.. =)
shes very sad..but she knows she have tasks on hand too..so she must try balance everything well..
her heart never aches so badly like now..she really treasure him alot..
but she will be okay..and she definitely will.. =)
she loves him..and she will understand him no matter what.. =)
let nature take its course..
she went for her swim..and she stopped her tears..shes going to be very strong..and from the bottom from her heart..she really wish she can tell him she loves him..when she sees him..she really wants to hug him tight when she sees him..one day..if he really leave her..she told herself she must understand him..

2008-11-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

I shant elaborate more about my assessment day.well,to conclude,I am pretty "lucky" because HOD went in when its my turn. >.<
and this is not the first time.It happens for my every assessment.this is gonna be interesting.in a way,i think?oh well,I shut my mouth whenever its necessary.hah.
if anyone does read my so-called emo post..on how lousy i feel when i knew assessment is just one day away..yea.NOW.I shall announce ASSESSMENT day is OVER! WOOHOO~guess what? party time! ahahahahs. *throwing pillows* *jumping around on bed* *singing and dancing around like no one business* *yearning to hug 'someone' RIGHT NOW* hehe. =P
Seriously,past weeks have been tough.Its too insane to imagine.really.those days are meant to be remembered for life.hahas.nightmares.my god.that kind of stress.I dotn wanna think about it now.hahas.
assessment surprisingly turns out fine for me..hehe..dont wanna talk much on it already..I will work very very hard when sem 2 arrives..a promise to myself.. =))
I am broke.I am looking for sales.hahas.i want movies.i want shopping.i want sports.i want more outings.I got a part time job.working for calvin klein.not going back past jobs. =)
have been very lazy.I didnt want prepare things for my upcoming taiwan trip.hahas.
I cant wait for XMAS! every xmas meant so much to me and my cliques. =) this year,xmas celebration shall be a little different.I wish to take out time for someone. =))
hmm.MORE MORE MORE outings! hee.tomorrow meeting abby! and will be able to see my cousin and her clique too! wheewhee! need to go down to paragon calvin klein for some things also. =))

*misses*

2008-11-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 12/11/08 gonna pass VERY SOON.

I am well prepared.hold on.I havent complete what I wanted to say.hahas.I know I have disappoint myself this Sem.I know I gotta get tons of SHIT tomorrow.ASSESSMENT DAY.I have prepared enough tissue paper.I have prepared an empty head to go there to store all kinds of insulting,sarcasm,screaming,shouting,lecturing and any words that they will say to bring me down down and DOWN.even my work is gonna to be thrown to the ground or out of the window,I am prepared.I am standing stronger.thanks alot daddy.without his encouragement and teachings,i will still be sitting down and not wanting to stand up.because I have lost my balance.

he have already seen life more than i do.to him,little things like what will be happening tomorrow is nothing.to me,it may be a time that will make me remember for life.I made the choice to step into art.so I faced what is coming.I have to be responsible for every decision I made.daddy know for this Sem,the stress I am going through but still not able to really excel and do it well..he knows everything.he supports me through and say its okay to waste abit more of time to retake this and that.he say important thing is i have to prove to myself I can do it if others can.and I gonna live up the promise i gave him.after my holidays,i will put in alot of hard work and work for my weaker modules.as well as those better ones.i MUST go beyond challenges.

Now I know nothing i can do to make tomorrow a better one.so go into the room with a positive attitude,face the consequences,control my tears inside and say thank you to everyone of them who will give me a hell time and leave the room telling ymself no more shit for the upcoming sem.NO MORE.I WILL NEVER allow that to happen anymore.This is still the first time I have little fears and worries.this is the first time i really let myself down.though not for all work.but for majority.never felt this way like now.feel so terrible.I know i have to learn to take it easy because this is part and parcel of life.no point crying over split milk.at most,after all shit,come out,have a little bit of tears and everythings over..I will use actions to prove to not others but myself that i can do a much much more better job when school starts again.let my nervousness last for 1 more day..I dread school.but for the sake of that piece of paper that will lead me to the key of success,I have to bear with it.Look ahead.tough days will be over.it will be over..

I have alot more to face when I am out to society..and by that time,i work for the sake of money..to survive..holidays jobs are just to gain experience..real working life.isnt as easy as it seems to be..

thanks to my besties who have been staying with me duing this period of hell,and to my daddy and uncle all,many thanks to you all.i dont know how to express through words..but i really appreciate all that you all have told me..I will go through these difficult times..i will.. =)

thanks carol for sharing with me so much too.. =)

All the best to everyone on their assessment day.. =)
Here I come to face the outcome! My shitty day..November 12..Sigh~what a horrible feeling..ahh! *bang wall* =X

AND..she knows he is going to be back very soon.. =))

2008-11-08T01:30:00.000-08:00

Its very hurtful and painful to know every truth in every matter.well,no matter how far I run..can never reach the final destination because theres absolutely no way i can run away.

this is life.

If one place herself in a very pitiful state,ever thought of people whos suffering..troubling over three meals..worrying about utilities bills..and how their future will be like..so nowadays before I got too emotional..i will think twice..

when I feel I am the ONLY one facing stress..whos not facing it..appearances are deceiving..who knows whats hiding underneath those people who are living condos..driving bmw..working as a ceo in a big company..maybe they are facing worst kind of stress I can never imagine?maybe my stress is just a training so that i can cope better when I am out to society to work?perhaps I should really be more optimistic once again..and brace up..no matter how tough life is going to be..I already knew life is never easy and is full of sufferings..I shall save my everyday..and make it a better one..isnt it better?

or should i really cry my hearts out..once and for all..but I am sure I am going to tear as long as theres some happenings that will never stop me from holding my tears..

ironic thoughts.

I guessed everyone see 'stress' differently.my dad often told me..bear with it..control..and i will be able to see light ahead..

I think I have seen too much darkness..I feel negative at times..no matter how strong i am..i still have my weak side..

i know whatever happens..i will always have support from my close friends,my family and my uncle all.BUT.i cant rely on them forever..and for now,I pray to god..please bless my uncle with good health..during childhood times when my parents were busying working..my uncle family have been taking care of me..and i have a very very very close bonding with my uncle..all the memeories he had given me..I never forget and will never forget.all I know now is..I have to visit him very often and take care of him..

i told myself and my close ones..I will stay very strong and pull through tough times..but if one day,i really feel i need get out of all those terrible horrible shit and etc..when its beyond my control..i will make a choice..and i know i will have support from my family,close friends and my uncle all. =)

I am numb.because I dont feel anything..when I am having a high fever..when I am feeling so sick and seriously need to see doctor..

everyday different happenings.good or bad.life still have to move on..
seriously..sometimes i feel kinda tiring..live happily as a child..live with worries and anxiety during sec and tertiary times..fear results are bad..fear for these and that..create so much stress for oneself..come to society to work..hoping to earn lots of money..to satisfy own wants..people play politics..to achieve what they want..and again,stress..much more stress compared to schooling times..after that..people worry again..for what i dont know..all i can say is the stress is never ending..and when one can finally take a break..he or she realised..health is starting to give them problems..and worries is here again..plus sufferings..sometimes..dont understand life..
but since we humas are in this world..guess there is no turning back also..so shall make full use of everyday..by living it to fullest..i will try to cheer myself up..feeling too emotional these days..guess art industry is really lots and lots of hell..studying this line doesnt mean i will end up getting into this line..so i will carefully make a correct choice..

I used to have alot of dreams in the past..hoping to earn lots of money..eat well and live a good life..thinking that what will truly makes me happy all all these.I am wrong.totally wrong.

every little setbacks I faced..my thinking changes..
all I want now is true happiness..lots of money wont make me smile from my heart..and money is never enough and one can never stop earning it.but being contented with what i have and treasuring it is more important than anything else..only this way,i will feel happier..

简单就是幸福。

anyway,life is so busy as usual..i shant elaborate much on it..
I have yet to find any holiday job..boo.

I wish..to go Sydney with my loved one..I really loved the scenery there..and i really hope someday..i can travel around with my loved one..let go of all stress..and go overseas to enjoy.. =)

spore too small..hahas..

I want a camera..still saving $ to get one..my cameras are all lagging..need to retire already..ahahas..

hmm.thats all for now..take care everyone.. =))

2008-11-02T02:05:00.000-08:00

Donna Lewis - I Love You Always Forever

Feels like, I'm standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists, of pale amber rose
Feels like, I'm lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
Touching, discovering you

Those days, of warm rains come rushing back to me
Miles of windless, summer night air
Secret moments, shared in the heat of the afternoon
Out of the stillness, soft spoken words

Chorus:
I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you
I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you

You've got, the most unbelievable
blue eyes I've ever seen
You've got, me almost melt away
As we lay there, under a blue sky
with pure white stars
Exotic sweetness, a magical time

(Chorus)

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

(Chorus)

2008-10-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

Have been some time since I last updated my blog.

I have been so so so so so x 10 busy with my projects.I am feeling so lethargic.moodless.and on the other hand,highly motivating myself to persevere till the end..when I am on the verge of giving up.seriously.this is not a joke.I am feeling so contradicting.I feel like a tree now.longing for the gardener..but hes vvv busy too..lets add oil togather yea! I am not going to say die no matter how tough life seems to be.. =))

every problem has a solution.

soon,my holidays are reaching.in about two weeks time?
I am going to do my vv best in everything now.I am going to put in my 101% after my holidays and when I am back to school again.

for now,all I can say is I am not left with much time.so I can only do my best to complete whatever I can.SIGH.I feel so horrible.driving me nuts. >.<>

2008-09-23T01:15:00.000-07:00

I updated my post some days ago.but I deleted it.
too emo.

well,tutorial weeks over.time is on my side now.sadly,I am not making full use.
dont ask me why.motivation is lacking badly.I thought I am someone who will never say die even the world is going to collapse on me.where have I been.I am losing myself and the sense of direction.

I am unsure where I am standing at this point of time.all I can say I never once given up on anything.NEVER.guess all I have to do now is love what I am doing.and PUSH myself very hard.seriously,I meant it.

who is not feeling stress now.It is all about self-control.isnt it?
Its all about working togather as one.
I may seems like I dont care about a single thing.I have no sense of urgency.I am not doing anything.I am not showing concern or the least attention to things I should.
If anyone is feeling this way,then go ahead.
I no longer want feel bothered with any of these.Its getting way too tiring.come on,give me a break.

I am working on what everyone is working.and I am not fighting for any trophies or top rankings.I just want do my very best and yes.to excel, if I can.nothing else matters.
do pardon me for saying something harsh now.
for certain people:kindly shut up if you doesnt know anything about my life.
dont think you know alot when you know nuts.
dont go around giving unnecessary comments, words or whatever.you are making people's life more terrible and horrible.
you dont have the need to know these or that.get this clear.

someone told me..'live for yourself'.'not for others.'
these six words made me stronger.
maybe I shouldnt let people words caused such a huge impact on me.

had quite alot outings with clique and besties.and other friends.thanks for making each and every outing a wonderful one.looking forward for more. =))
well,photos to be uploaded asap,I hope.hahas.

I missed.. .. .. .. ..

2008-09-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

I can see dust all over. =p
I am here for spring cleaning.
but no salary.awwwwwwwww.sad. =p
life has been the same.revolving around projects and more inspirations to come along. =))
went flea market with cousin yesterday evening.omg.found 'treasure'! hahas.so excited.and we spent the same amount.oh.wait.theres one dollar difference.hahas.i spent lesser.die.my kbox outing like gone.I am declaring bankrupt.someone save meeeeeeee.boo.
and for the first time we went to celebrate advance mid-autumn festival! hahahas.cool huh.
but I am rushing off around 7 plus for my religon class.
was late for ten minutes.okay ba.hee.shihui got a seat for me.but I couldnt find her.so I sat at the back.hahas.the class was the longest class i ever went.hahas.I lose concentration but still managed to absorb some la.hahas.
after everything ended,friends who lived the same block as me went home togather.one of them drive so yarhs.hahas.they were pretty crappy I would say.I just sat inside relaxing and keeping quiet.all I do is laughed and LAUGHED.hahas.retarded huh.lol.
weather is so unpredictable nwadays.I have become a good girl too. =X I bring umbrella out everyday.with no complaints.hahas.
tutorial break is here.got to make full use of it.and abby birthday is reaching in like one week time?god.hahas.thats really fast.
i want go sentosa! i want! shall find one day and go during this break time?? hehe.abby! =p
hmm.gonna meet diana to do and discuss work too. =))
got endless people to meet.hahas.
my handphone gone bonkers lately.yea.Its time for a new one.
what a blue sunday.hahas.staying home.facing four walls.and time for bedtime stories! hahas.i want to sleep.I am down with cold.terrible.horrible.ahh.
I dont like cca anymore.i dont know why.Its getting more depressing.okay.the more I hate it,the more I shall love it.*process of psychoing* =p
I have tons of books to return to tp lib.meilin!!!!! =(
I need more enrgy to do more work.can i go to sleep now? =p
YES.permission granted by 'qi'. =p lalalalala.
please.go away cold.go away cold. =(

2008-08-23T00:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JADON,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADON KWOK! =))))))))))

boy boy is finally 2 years old.
anyway,would like to say sorry to my uncle family..for not being able to attend Jadon party these 2 years..but I will go see jadon next week and celebrate belated with him. =))
I will go and pass the birthday prezie to boy boy first anyway. =))

his smile and laughter often melts my heart.take away all my stress and unhappiness.and fiilled the little happiness to FULL.see.'THE POWER OF LOVE'. =XXXXXXXXXX hahahas.
JADON RAWKS! hehe.

I am sure he will have a very enjoyable day! and his birthday party this year will be on the focus of 'NONG NONG TOO TOO TRAIN'.muahahas.
I dont know where to get baby bob for him. =( and he got too many Elmo stuffs.hahas.
hope the prezie I have gotten for him will make him smile! =))

hmm.many many work.this is NOT depressing.I am moving forward and reach out high! =))
Goals in life.Success is never an easy path.but is definitely achieveable.hehe.
anyway,just do my very best.and always remind myself..dont lose direction and nono ambitious.
知足常乐! and I will be a happy person! wheee.

humans all have 烦恼.stand a different viewpoint from others,look at things in a optimistic way and things will get better. =))

I may have times that I am down.meet all sorts of obstacles.having a tough time.feeling very emo.but well,bad times will go away and better times will be coming. =))

whatever it is,forgive and forget.put on a happy smile and every tomorrow will be a better one! =))

Thanks to my uncle family,my 3 besties and a few very good friends of mine who have been with me through my tough times and happy times. =))

I missed JADON.again.hahas.
before I end this post,
ONCE AGAIN,
JADON boy, 生日快乐! =))

2008-08-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

2008-08-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

Thanks abby darling for the wonderful chat yesterday. =)))))
we shall meet next week for our outing.and also one more outing with our 'clique'.hahas.for desserts.
abby and dearie girl,i have so many things to share.lets find a free time and have endless chat! hahas.

I dont know why am I having this kind of feeling now.
I know i shouldnt have felt this way.but.well.never mind.
I can self control very well.
that shouldnt have cause any impact on me in the first place.
I have no rights to interfere anyway. =)
dont brood about it too much..

hmm.qi got too many work on hand now.
be strong! nothing can bring me down! =))

yesterday took some photos with lux and abby.will upload it.
and today was a great day.went to do some work.and afternoon went meet shihui to go see jadon.had an enjoyable day. =))
took alot of photos.will upload it too.

thats all.

2008-08-16T00:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks sinweng for the Tioman pictures.really beautiful.and I am not going to pay for the copyright money.you this cheaterbug! hahas. =p anyhow link one.
and thanks for the chat. =))
and you and your girlfriend will be okay soon.so dont worry,be happy! you taught me one.hahas.

was happy because finally got to chat with abby.and hopefully we are going to watch that movie soon! I know you will always know what i meant.hahas.sigh.and humans changed anytime,anywhere.

There will be something like accounting and maths test this coming Monday.I have yet to prepare actually.I am worried I will do very badly.theres too many work on hand.
and I dont deny I slacked quite alot these days.but I do my work too.somehow,I dont feel I am capable enough to handle too many things.too confident may leads to failure.but without confidence,I am not getting anywhere.feel that I will have the ability to work towards my goals but on the other hand,I am feeling quite useless.

I seriously want to take a break this weekend.but forget it.sigh.
shall see.
very long.I never mentioned 'cry' or 'tears' in my blog.guessed I am controlling it very well.
I try very hard to not whine to friends about any of the problems I faced.and how helpless I feel at times.everybody is so busy.so what makes my busy schedule so unique and so different from others.
especially my three besties.they are stressed enough.I just want to be a good listener and lighten their burdens and worries.

I have been showing my strong side to many people.and smile do hide everything well.I am not someone who will weaken easily but I do have my weak side.I will be able to pull through the tough times.I need to tell myself that for umpteen times.
even theres no one to support me through this tough times,I must overcome all obstacles and endure through.

to people I am closer with..I tend to hide my emotions even more..especially now..
I dont know why.
I dont want to see them worry.they must be happier than me.that will tells me they are leading on well. =)

every little thing can cheer me up.so I will go all out to cheer myself up like getting myself more chocolates and biscuits.

I am so in love with this song lately..'Fall for you' by Second Serenade. =)

2008-08-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

hello people.I am back to blogging again.hahas.
hmm.check out below! photos again.hehe.
taken with dearie girl on Sunday.and we went to watch money not enough 2! super nice.funny and touching! MUST watch everyone! =))
and took photos today too! with pretty Debra! nice clarisse! and beloved diana! hahas.
and see the little orange tinky?? small version of basic blocks! cool huh! hahas.so cute! diana loved it lots.hahas.
and i missed abby abby! =(
lets meet up for ice cream and little outings soon okay. =)

woo.today was so crappy in school la.
clarisse found out mini basic blocks not straight and not right.hahs.i told her you go tell her.our lecturer.she was like.noo! hahas.
i am like i go say ah.hahas.wanting to tease our lecturer.hahas.shes like hey! are you serious?hahas.
clarisse is so cute and nice la! hahas.should have video her reaction down. =p
and what is with the 'OMG' tinky today.hahas.
olsen and debra is so funny la.especially in the class.the OH MY GOD.we actually say it togather and tease our lecturer may.hahas.and she was like.hahas.laughing with us too.hahas.
then started OMG ing with alot of differnt tones and expressions.super funny.cannot take it.hahas.
and what is with the 'mab' and 'mape' tinky too.hahas.tt olsen is so funny la.hahas.just because my name is maybelyn.zz.tease and tease me! =( hahas.not only olsen loh.arr.hahas.and debra also! hahas.
and may was so cute today.hahas.she was telling us her young times.and didnt know shes so passionate to sports.hahas.and she hates squash.because she hates to be confined in that small area and started chasing after a stupid ball.haahhas.but I find that squash quite interesting. =p
and woah.a sense of achievement today.doing maths and accounting.hahas.esp when the ans is right!hahas.
hmm.more updates.have ALOT of things to do.
I seems to be under too much stress.no la.i must try to relax. =))
will update again. =)
Everyone do rest early yea? =)